Baby Demon Mammon Day

Holy Hindu Cow! The religious holidays are upcoming thick and fast. No sooner are weary revelers done with one, than here comes another. Whew! Mercy! Like just next week the main holidays are Winter Solstice and Baby Demon Mammon Day. But one of the great benefits of Druidism is, Baby Demon Mammon Day is optional. Well, maybe not optional. Unfortunately it’s fairly hard for even a Druid Ovate like Crumby to entirely dismiss Baby Demon Mammon Day. That’s because Baby Demon Mammon is just plumb integral to the Americano economy and way of life. Yes. Even for a trained Druid like Crumby, the Baby Demon Mammon is quite impossible to completely ignore.

Even so, Crumby fixes to encapsulate himself against the spirit of the Baby Demon. That’s right. Immediately following the Winter Solstice, Crumby employs self hypnosis to limit his senses or various sensory apparatus to one third of normal efficiency. The mathematically inclined may thus know, for example, that Crumby only hears 33% of the noises he would normally hear. Plus, the noise Crumby does hear is mostly like white noise. The same is true of Crumby’ vision. Only colors in the easy eye part of the visual spectrum are espied by Crumby. Neither can Crumby smell perfume when he is thus hypnotized.

Now, a 67% deadening of his nerves is what Crumby accomplishes for the many hours adjacent to Baby Demon Mammon Day. However, on the day itself, when Baby Demon Mammon worship is most frenzied, Crumby may have to enter into an actual coma for a few hours just to get some peace. If Crumby is lucky, he may be at home at the CB on Baby Demon Mammon Day. In that event, Crumby can climb into his orgone box for a little peace. But more probably, Crumby may be off on a terrible journey, the friendly confines of his orgone box, a distant memory. That’s why, when anybody meets Crumby out and about on Baby Demon Mammon Day, that person may assume Crumby is a zombie. It’s not the real Crumby, it’s Zombie Crumby.