Barbarism is Inevitable
Is barbarism a good thing or a bad thing? Whoa! It’s the same difference as asking, Crumby, are haircuts good or bad? Yes. And who are responsible for many haircuts? Easy that, barbers.
Those dang barbers are a hangover from the days when the barbarians first action after they took over the town or hamlet was to shave everyone’s head. Hmm. Well, maybe the barbarians looted the town first, raped all the inhabitants second, then barbered everyone’s heads. That’s right. That’s the correct sequence of historical events. Actually, barbering was third on the barbarian agenda. But even though barbering was third, it was super important. After all the people in the hamlet got their hair cut off, the barbarians and barbers could easily espy who was who. That’s because only the barbarians and barbers had hair. So afterward it was much easier to espy potential rape victims and persons who needed to be looted again. They were the unlucky bastards with no hair.
All this sad bullshit is precisely why Crumby always gives himself private haircuts approximately per annum whether he needs one or not. Yes. Crumby knows, you can never trust a barber, ever. Like you could easily go into a barber shop, then, come out bald. Next, you get yourself gang raped and looted on the way home because everyone knows the bald are obvious potential victims. Mercy!
Yes. Baldies are weak sisters, even symbolically. That’s why, soon as you get in the army, they shave your noggin. Once your noggin is shaved, it’s like a neon sign, omen, or ovation, that spells out, Hey everybody, come on, fuck me up the ass. Loot my shit.
Barbarism, that some refer to also as barbarity, is closely related to predation. Like for example, the strong loot and rape the weak. The strong prey on the weak. Predators! Mercy!
These days, Crumby is old and frail despite having plenty of hair. So these days, Crumby has to watch out for barbarian predators that could easily sneak up on Crumby, then loot and rape him. However, Crumby’s hair is his first line of defense against the barbarians. Hopefully, Crumby figures, the barbarians shall espy all that hair and pass on Crumby in favor of a nice, fat baldy. It’s like the miserable old joke, I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun the baldy.
Up ‘til now, Crumby has refrained from discussing or commenting on the most hideous outrage of the barbarians and their barber buddies, take a deep breath, cannibalism. Correct. Eventually those barbarians shall weary of their victims. Yes. They shall have taken all the loot. They shall tire of the incessant rape. Then, oh mercy, they shall eat you up. Oh my Goddess. Horrible, horrible, horrible!!!!
What happens to the soul of a person that has been devoured by vicious barbarian cannibals? One might logically assume that such an unfortunate soul might eventually be expelled as a gas or maybe a semi-gas. But hardly anyone knows for sure.
Friedrich Engels was fairly wise to re-emphasize the Druid dichotomy, socialism versus barbarism. Yes. Many require socialism. But only the strong, the predaceous, require barbarism.
Those dang barbers are a hangover from the days when the barbarians first action after they took over the town or hamlet was to shave everyone’s head. Hmm. Well, maybe the barbarians looted the town first, raped all the inhabitants second, then barbered everyone’s heads. That’s right. That’s the correct sequence of historical events. Actually, barbering was third on the barbarian agenda. But even though barbering was third, it was super important. After all the people in the hamlet got their hair cut off, the barbarians and barbers could easily espy who was who. That’s because only the barbarians and barbers had hair. So afterward it was much easier to espy potential rape victims and persons who needed to be looted again. They were the unlucky bastards with no hair.
All this sad bullshit is precisely why Crumby always gives himself private haircuts approximately per annum whether he needs one or not. Yes. Crumby knows, you can never trust a barber, ever. Like you could easily go into a barber shop, then, come out bald. Next, you get yourself gang raped and looted on the way home because everyone knows the bald are obvious potential victims. Mercy!
Yes. Baldies are weak sisters, even symbolically. That’s why, soon as you get in the army, they shave your noggin. Once your noggin is shaved, it’s like a neon sign, omen, or ovation, that spells out, Hey everybody, come on, fuck me up the ass. Loot my shit.
Barbarism, that some refer to also as barbarity, is closely related to predation. Like for example, the strong loot and rape the weak. The strong prey on the weak. Predators! Mercy!
These days, Crumby is old and frail despite having plenty of hair. So these days, Crumby has to watch out for barbarian predators that could easily sneak up on Crumby, then loot and rape him. However, Crumby’s hair is his first line of defense against the barbarians. Hopefully, Crumby figures, the barbarians shall espy all that hair and pass on Crumby in favor of a nice, fat baldy. It’s like the miserable old joke, I don’t have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun the baldy.
Up ‘til now, Crumby has refrained from discussing or commenting on the most hideous outrage of the barbarians and their barber buddies, take a deep breath, cannibalism. Correct. Eventually those barbarians shall weary of their victims. Yes. They shall have taken all the loot. They shall tire of the incessant rape. Then, oh mercy, they shall eat you up. Oh my Goddess. Horrible, horrible, horrible!!!!
What happens to the soul of a person that has been devoured by vicious barbarian cannibals? One might logically assume that such an unfortunate soul might eventually be expelled as a gas or maybe a semi-gas. But hardly anyone knows for sure.
Friedrich Engels was fairly wise to re-emphasize the Druid dichotomy, socialism versus barbarism. Yes. Many require socialism. But only the strong, the predaceous, require barbarism.
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, December 02, 2009
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