Rorret, Trap Sod

Also known to the mysterious as: Terror, Part Dos.

In this episode Crumby shall explore the close relationship between the fair flat tax and the terrorist lifestyle. As everyone knows, the fair flat tax is like totally fair and flat. But there is no fair flat tax. And if there was a fair flat tax, it would operate in addition to the other taxes rather than as a substitute.

These sad facts regarding the fair flat tax so infuriate the many idealists who believe with all their hearts in the fictional fair flat tax, that generally many of these idealists have no choice but to turn to terror as a final, suicidal, hope or last gasp. Isn’t that always true though?

At one time, Karl the Tracker Druid was interested in the fair flat tax. That’s because Karl is the owner operator of an unfairly taxed small business. And even though Karl received an agriculture exemption thanks to his pets, Prissy and Ajax, Karl was still aggravated by the complicated high taxes he was afflicted with during those times.

Off Karl went to a fair flat tax rally. At the rally, Karl listened intently to all the speeches. Then, once the rally ended, Karl toted off plenty of literature. The important literature Karl toted off further detailed how the fair flat tax was the last hope of the white race.

Once back at his home office Karl chucked the fair flat tax literature into the “correspondence in” file which is where Karl’s second wife espied that particular literature after Karl had gone off to the barn. Hmm. Thought Mary the Virgin, Karl’s second wife, Karl has been off at a political rally when he was supposed to be tracking. We shall have to see about this.

Meantime, Karl sidled out to the barn to visit with his equine pets, Prissy and Ajax. Anon, the threesome, Karl, Prissy and Ajax were enjoying sugar and apples. Well actually, Karl was enjoying a tumbler of Old Crow and a joint while Prissy and Ajax got sugar and apples.

Karl spoiled his pets. You are such a good horsey. Yes you are. Yes you are. Such a good horsey.

Most of the savings from the agricultural exemption went to purchase treats for Prissy or Ajax. Treats or equine accouterments like Ajax’s new Resistol.

Eventually Karl bade goodbye to his horse and mule, then headed back to the house.

Once arrived, Karl was greeted by his second wife, Mary the Virgin. Karl sugar, What was your day like today? Did you track down the lost pirate treasure?

Uh. It was OK Mary. But, uh, you know, I havn’t got the proposal okie dokie back from the client yet on the, uh, lost pirate treasure contract. And so uh, you know yourself there’s always plenty to do like in terms of marketing.

That’s nice honey. Glad to hear you're keeping up with the marketing. Say Karl, would you like me better if I was flat chested. I’ve been thinking my boobs are too big. Oh! Guess what’s for supper. We’re having pancakes. Those pancakes sure are flat. You know why they are so flat Karl? We’re out of baking powder. I was fixing to go get baking powder but the car has a flat. Then I called mother to see if she could come over and take me to the store. But mom said she was flat wore out and flat on her back. Look at these Karl. You are always telling me I need to wear sensible shoes. Well. Check out these flats.

Dern it, thought Karl. This Blue Ribbon is flat.

Thus was Karl the Tracker Druid saved from a terrorist lifestyle. Yes, saved from a terrorist lifestyle that would have eventually led to flat tax martyrdom.