Crumby is Pretty Dang Upset
Seriously. A Druid Ovate needs to be able to predict if a camera company is fucking with him. You’d think!
It all goes back to, and we have been over this time and again, that it’s super hard to predict stuff on an individual level where shit really matters. For example, did you know or like any of the Haitian earthquake casualties? Not Crumby. Crumby didn’t know or like a single one of them, except maybe in theory. Yet Crumby could have easily predicted that catastrophic earthquake if he had been the least bit interested in Haitian earthquake theosophy. But Crumby can’t predict whether a shitty camera company is fixing to make more dslrs for him, or for his personal use or hobby.
Yes. Ovation is an aggravating pastime or profession. Witness! Ovation is swell for the masses who may, as a result of an important ovation, move to high ground, or run out in the yard just in the nick of time. Yes. The faithful may be saved. Those no count beneficiaries of ovations get to skate along, surviving. Oh yes. The ovate helps them. But do they help the ovate? Course not. They could care less.
It’s like this. Let’s assume that Crumby predicted, five years in advance, that the entire Olympus camera manufacturing capacity would be destroyed by either a tsunami or pilotless Americano imperialist wedgie bombers. So Olympus takes heed. What do they do? Well, they move all their shitty factories to the Republico duh Booblico where all their factory like shit is unlikely to be bombed into the Stone Age or nukelured. Plus Olympus gets some gigantic tax breaks, free water, free electricity, free labor and tort reform. In other words, they make do in a capitalist paradise.
Yes. Crumby saves their sorry asses. But what thanks does Crumby get? Well. None. Instead of thanks, Crumby gets a 40 megapixel camera. Plus, the camera Crumby receives as his free gift has such a tiny sensor that it can only operate within a 50 mile range of Ogma Sunface. That’s how sunny the shitty camera's environment needs to be so the camera can take a picture. So Crumby is basically fucked when it comes to home and yard photography. Crumby would need a space ship, not included with his new camera, for his shitty Japanese camera to work at all. Jeez Louise!
It all goes back to, and we have been over this time and again, that it’s super hard to predict stuff on an individual level where shit really matters. For example, did you know or like any of the Haitian earthquake casualties? Not Crumby. Crumby didn’t know or like a single one of them, except maybe in theory. Yet Crumby could have easily predicted that catastrophic earthquake if he had been the least bit interested in Haitian earthquake theosophy. But Crumby can’t predict whether a shitty camera company is fixing to make more dslrs for him, or for his personal use or hobby.
Yes. Ovation is an aggravating pastime or profession. Witness! Ovation is swell for the masses who may, as a result of an important ovation, move to high ground, or run out in the yard just in the nick of time. Yes. The faithful may be saved. Those no count beneficiaries of ovations get to skate along, surviving. Oh yes. The ovate helps them. But do they help the ovate? Course not. They could care less.
It’s like this. Let’s assume that Crumby predicted, five years in advance, that the entire Olympus camera manufacturing capacity would be destroyed by either a tsunami or pilotless Americano imperialist wedgie bombers. So Olympus takes heed. What do they do? Well, they move all their shitty factories to the Republico duh Booblico where all their factory like shit is unlikely to be bombed into the Stone Age or nukelured. Plus Olympus gets some gigantic tax breaks, free water, free electricity, free labor and tort reform. In other words, they make do in a capitalist paradise.
Yes. Crumby saves their sorry asses. But what thanks does Crumby get? Well. None. Instead of thanks, Crumby gets a 40 megapixel camera. Plus, the camera Crumby receives as his free gift has such a tiny sensor that it can only operate within a 50 mile range of Ogma Sunface. That’s how sunny the shitty camera's environment needs to be so the camera can take a picture. So Crumby is basically fucked when it comes to home and yard photography. Crumby would need a space ship, not included with his new camera, for his shitty Japanese camera to work at all. Jeez Louise!
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, March 03, 2010
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