Producing Nature Documentaries at Home

Crumby was so excited. Where am I? Then Crumby remembered. He was in a tent, camped out in the Mexican wilderness with only bird watchers for company.

I need to arise. That’s right. Here now, I shall arise at this very nonce. Then I shall put on some more clothes. Then I shall go on out and pee. Then I shall make some coffee. Then, after I drink my coffee I shall head on out before anyone else is even awake. Ha! I shall espy the elusive juju bwana bird while the flat chested snooze on.

Off Crumby went. Yes. Feckless Ogma had not yet cleared the horizon when Crumby set out in search of the juju bwana bird. All day long Crumby searched for the juju bwana. Mile after mile Crumby trod from the lowest valley to the highest peak. No juju bwana bird.

At last, as feckess Ogma fixed to set, Crumby journeyed along despondently and wearily back to camp. What did you get Crumby? Everyone wanted to know.

No juju bwana. Waaaah! I looked high and low but no juju bwana.

You should have stayed here Crumby. A pair of juju bwanas was here around the camp all day. Everyone got good looks at those juju bwanas.

Yes. In the example above Crumby imparts a typically anecdotal account of what can easily happen to travelers in foreign parts. Unfamiliar with the habitat, your typical traveler may waste plenty of time on fruitless misadventure seeking this or that in the wrong spot. Better to just stay in camp. Or better yet, stay home.

That’s right. Especially, old people, therefore, should do nature at home right in their own back yards. That’s because old people are at a serious disadvantage, traveling about. Those elderly people are probably unfamiliar with the habitat, or if they knew the habitat once, they have forgotten most of its characteristics. Plus, the elderly are way more susceptible to predation. Like everyone knows that predators go for the old and feeble first. Like old people in the tropics should definitely watch out for monkeys. And what about medicine? Old people can easily run out of medicine.

Yet nature study at home can be entirely or almost entirely safe and productive. First though, you need to provide a little something natural to attract more nature, like some decent habitat. A lawn full of Eurasian weeds probably sucks as habitat. But there you go

Or maybe not. This monk parakeet likes lawns full of Eurasian weeds just fine. This parakeet is dining on last years Siberian elm seeds plus shepherd’s purse seeds and no telling what else over on a grassy sward that abuts the Burger Center parking lot. So maybe you don’t need to do anything to your shitty yard to attract animals and birds. Some of them are bound to like anything and therefore be attracted.

What if you want to take pictures of all the fauna that shows up? Like say a wild monkey shows up. Wouldn’t you want to take its picture? Yep. Sure you would.

But what kind of camera would you need to take a picture of a tiny wild monkey brachiating in your Chinaberry. Well. You would need a dslr type camera with a long telephoto lens to take a picture of that dern monkey. And not just any dslr camera either. No. You would need a name brand dslr camera; a Canon or a Nikon.

That’s where Crumby screwed up. Crumby purchased a dslr to take pictures of monkeys with. But Crumby purchased an off brand of dslr. Crumby wanted to save a little money. Now, however, Crumby’s brand of dslr is fixing to go belly up. That’s right. The Olympus bunch is fixing to quit making any more dslrs. And now, the only long telephoto lenses that fit the Olympus dslrs have already been discontinued. So how is Crumby fixing to get any decent pictures of that monkey, on-going?