The Secessionist

Many have speculated, what will Dr. Paul do once he loses the GOP nomination? Will he run as a third party candidate? Mercy! What would happen, then? Would we all die or become, like zombies? Yes. What then? What then? Uh. What then?

But consider this! What if Jefe Rick Perry actually fails to become the eventual nominee of the GOP. Now that’s unlikely, that Rick might actually lose, but it could happen. And if Rick loses out for the GOP nomination, he might take the third party route himself; just as easily as Dr. Paul could.

But what party besides the Republicans could Rick head up? Easy that, he could head up the Secesh Party ticket. That’s right. Rick could run for president of the US while at the same time advocating the secession of Tejas from the union. If our Jefe actually loses the GOP nomination, then sadly yet obviously, he will have failed to convince many possible voters that Tejas is a model for the rest of the US. But he could try again with the same theme, possibly with more success, as the Secesh candidate.

Yes. If elected president, our Jefe shall lead Tejas out of the union and into a new, exciting wilderness. Or, if he loses, just as good. Tejas still leaves the union. Running on the Secesh ticket is thus seen as a win-win option. Plus, the various other minor states could then easily follow the Tejas lead and secede too. Mercy! What a grand deal that would be. Like maybe Mississippi or South Carolina could become its own country. Goodness! How swell? Reckon any of the newly independent countries would change names. Like maybe some new Secesh nation could then change its official title to the True or Actual Capitalist Republic of Dogpatch.