Marlboro Victorinox (Updated)
Apparently, a while back, Victorinox, the surviving Swiss Army knife manufacturer, and Marlboro, of rustic cowboy or cowgirl cigarette fame, forged an alliance. Then, if an average dumbass smoked plenty of cigarettes, he/she qualified as a member of the Marlboro Adventure Team and got access to "free" saks. How many went from two to three packs a day to earn a spot on the Adventure Team? What a price they paid, maybe. Well. Good for them. Can you say, natural selection?
Anyway. Plenty of people got those free saks. Yet many then died of lung cancer before they could enjoy the deployment of those knives against rapists or suchlike terrorists. So these days, many of those Marlboro knives are flogged on EBAY. But how many of those knives, in pristine condition, still contained in relatively semi-fondled boxes, come from a smoke free environment. Mercy me, and me oh my! Not many, Crumby reckons.
Yet as an avid, average collector, Crumby desires some of those Marlboro saks for his hoard. I mean collection. However, Crumby does not wish for exposure to toxic box syndrome, a potentially fatal, viral germ that dwells on old Marlboro exposed cardboard, infesting millions with cancer virus and maybe canker sores too.
What to do? What to do? Crumby might request that the vendor send the knife, absent the box. But the box, makes the knife worth more to an average collector. But what if the box carries cancer germs? Mercy! Whatever shall Crumby do?
It's now a few days later. Goodness! Crumby meant to bid on some Victorinox Marlboros. But then he either fell asleep or was watching TV when those particular knives were won by someone else; at a very good price. Evidently, many are as concerned about cancer germs as Crumby. But not all.
Can cancer germs live for a great while on stainless steel? Probably not. But what about Cellidor, which is melted down pvc granules. Crumby figures those could easily be impregnated with long-lived cancer germs. Easily! Then those germs could be spread globally by passenger saks.
Well. Maybe not easily. But possibly.
Crumby has a home made passenger sak. Or Passenger, the common name of that particular Victorinox model. But common names, regardless of taxon level, have always driven Crumby nuts. Like what would any sak, getting itself toted, be called, if not a passenger? Yet to be a Passenger, it would need an official configuration. No wonder that model is discontinued. A small victory for logic on a small planet dominated by the illogical.
Anyway. Plenty of people got those free saks. Yet many then died of lung cancer before they could enjoy the deployment of those knives against rapists or suchlike terrorists. So these days, many of those Marlboro knives are flogged on EBAY. But how many of those knives, in pristine condition, still contained in relatively semi-fondled boxes, come from a smoke free environment. Mercy me, and me oh my! Not many, Crumby reckons.
Yet as an avid, average collector, Crumby desires some of those Marlboro saks for his hoard. I mean collection. However, Crumby does not wish for exposure to toxic box syndrome, a potentially fatal, viral germ that dwells on old Marlboro exposed cardboard, infesting millions with cancer virus and maybe canker sores too.
What to do? What to do? Crumby might request that the vendor send the knife, absent the box. But the box, makes the knife worth more to an average collector. But what if the box carries cancer germs? Mercy! Whatever shall Crumby do?
It's now a few days later. Goodness! Crumby meant to bid on some Victorinox Marlboros. But then he either fell asleep or was watching TV when those particular knives were won by someone else; at a very good price. Evidently, many are as concerned about cancer germs as Crumby. But not all.
Can cancer germs live for a great while on stainless steel? Probably not. But what about Cellidor, which is melted down pvc granules. Crumby figures those could easily be impregnated with long-lived cancer germs. Easily! Then those germs could be spread globally by passenger saks.
Well. Maybe not easily. But possibly.
Crumby has a home made passenger sak. Or Passenger, the common name of that particular Victorinox model. But common names, regardless of taxon level, have always driven Crumby nuts. Like what would any sak, getting itself toted, be called, if not a passenger? Yet to be a Passenger, it would need an official configuration. No wonder that model is discontinued. A small victory for logic on a small planet dominated by the illogical.
posted by ray pistrum at Tuesday, December 31, 2013
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