Ray's Thought for the Day

Inquiring minds want to know what is meant by the spell, shoat skitter wrangler (ssw). Is the spell metaphorical or is it something else again? Easy that, ssw is metaphorical as well as something else again depending on the cirumstances. If yer standing in yer wellies on a hot day hosing the skitters along the parlor floor and in the general direction of the shoat skitter lagoon, that is something else again. If you merely have tasks to do at yer job that are very similar too, but not exactly like that, the spell is metaphorical.

I Ray, am very, very happy that I am not a shoat skitter wrangler in a metaphorical or in a something else again capacity. You may recall the recent bad scare I got on that very subtopic, having to resume wranglin'. Noper, wranglins not for me.

But onto a more pleasant topic, cinnamon buns. It is my custom to go to the Farmer's Market on Saturday mornin' to purchase a cinnamon bun for myself. The particular cinnamon buns that I purchase suit my palate perfectly. They are delicious, fer me. Sometimes I eat my cinnamon bun before I can get it back to the Cow Barn on account of those buns being so delicious.

Last Saturday I went over there to the Farmer's Market, but the cinnamon bun vendor wasn't there and I didn't get my cinnamon bun last Saturday. So this week I went back with great anticipation since I hadn't had a cinnamon bun fer two weeks. Sure enough they were back. This cinnamon bun vendor allows the customer to pick out a cinnamon bun. Usually the one I Ray want is in the middle of a group of other cinnamon buns. It is attached to the other cinnamon buns on its sides and also is stuck to the bottom of the tray. So the cinnamon bun vendor always has trouble separating my cinnamon bun that I have picked out from the rest of 'em. The reason for the trouble is that the vendor is obliged not to touch the cinnamon buns with fingers. Ordinarily, I would just wait patiently while the vendor fumbled around looking for utensils and also wait around patiently while the vendor fumbled around trying to extract my cinnamon bun from its contagion with the inferior cinnamon buns I didn't want.

But today, because I hadn't had a cinnamon bun fer two weeks, through no fault of my own, I grew impatient and grabbed up my cinnamon bun bare handed while the cinnamon bun vendors back was turned. "Lookee here, I have already retrieved my cinnamon bun" I told the vendor. So all that remained was for the vendor to sack my cinnamon bun up, and away I went, with it. This time, even though my mouth was watering the whole trip, I got it back to the Cow Barn. As usual, that cinnamon bun was delicious.

But on the way from the cinnamon bun vendors to the Cow Barn I was accosted by strangers that wanted to rub my back. They also asked me some very personal direct questions. Because I am a Druid and obliged to answer direct questions truthfully I tried to give them some of my valuable time and provide honest answers to the questions, but my focus was actually on my cinnamon bun the whole time so I may have been short with those strangers.

These are the questions they asked together with my answers.

Would you like a back rub? No.

Do you think you are in good health? Maybe.

Do you ever have tension? Yes, I have tension because I'm nervous.

Don't you think a rub down could help your nerves? No, because I'm nervous because I think about killin'(censored) too much. They make me nervous.

Don't you think a rubdown could help you with thinking like that? No.

And then, Goddess Excuse Me, I put an end to their presumptiousness and walked off.

You see these strangers really wanted to rub on me and I don't know why and they were delaying my quality time with my cinnamon bun. Go figure!