A New Arrival

Ray, you have outdone yerself. Cannibals is it?

No, no, no, Red. Those particular cannibals I was discussing are metaphorical.

Metaphorical cannibals!

Yepper. It's like the gluttons have turned on one another and begun devouring themselves. Hopefully this is just the beginning and soon we'll be shut of them forever.

Dern it Ray. How can they turn on each other and devour theirselves at the same time? Either we're talkin' cannibals here or we aint talkin' cannibals.

No, no, no. It's the same difference. Don't ye see Red. It's wonderful news. They are startin' to eat on each other cause they even eat on theirselves. See? The same difference.

Mebbe Ray. I don't know about that, fer sure, and I don't have no truck with talkin' up cannibals. It aggravates the vegetarians.

Lookee there Red. Here comes a lady.

Huh.

Good evening gentlemen. I know you by reputation only and what I have heard spelled is mixed, the milk of human kindness blended with a black viscous liquor. This I have heard and more, but I am no tale bearer, but a Druidess newly matriculated from the Joke Factory and now sent hither, as if on a mission; veritably I am a spear of righteousness, a glad tear in the eye of the Blessed Goddess, a shining jewel in the firmament, a force to be reckoned with, a green sheath glistening with dew, a shadow on Ogma's face, you may think you know me, but think anon for I will then be something else again.

All righty then. So perhaps ye have the better of me, Ray. And that is no mystery. Easy that to figure, for I, Ray am fairly famous and well-traveled. Also, many have seen me formerly ministering to the swines for their sanitation. I am also purty smart and my sister is real smart, and er......do you have a name?

Dern it Ray yer outa turn. This here must be the one that dern Nancy's sent over to hep Rayetta though why Rayetta needs hep aint apparent, to me.

I am indeed that one sent to provide companionship to the LDR and also to the long suffering Goddess of Reality Checks and to restore a semblance of balance to these parts that have been out of whack, hormonally speaking. My name is Hope and a great many have said of me, there's always Hope, and to thee Ray, I was told by Nancy the Learned to show this especially to thee. Wouldst thou gaze more closely upon my bosoms?

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

That which is affixed to thy nose Ray, be a bosom asp but the pain should ease anon. And now prithee show me to the lady-like quarters that await for I am much wearied of my travels.

Dad gum it. Ray go get some hep gettin' that vermin off yer nose. Now listen here young lady ye cain't..........

Red, is that Hope? You bring her in here right this minute. The poor little thing must be worn to a frazzle.

Wore to a frazzle! She come in a dern air conditioned taxi.

RED!

All righty then. This way Ms. Hope.

Well hello dear. I know that meeting Ray and Red for the first time can be unsettling. Rayetta and I am so glad you could come. As soon as you can get freshened up we'll sit down together and have some treats and you can meet everyone that's about and visible.