Ray's Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen cont.
After a while the swineherd tracked down the young lady’s husband who turned out to be a wheel, on track to gettin’ even wheelier, and not a little wheel, either. He, the husband that is, told the swinehered that he would indeed come out to the swine ranch himself to check up on the situation and have a little chat with the young lady, his traipsing wife. Meantime, back at the swinehered’s place, the young lady was somewhat temporarily improved in both her mental and physical conditions. For it is well known that a diet high in pork and pork by-products can cure what ails ye, temporarily. So when the young lady’s husband arrived on the scene the next day of an early afternoon, (he had a pressing golf engagement to play at that morning), the young lady was alert and sitting up in bed, her skin the colors of whole milk, but her cheeks of a rosy hue.
The young lady and her husband then commenced to chat, privately, and the swineherd and his bunch hung around outside the spare bedroom all beclouded by anxiety as to what the disposition in the fortunes of their houseguest should be, anon. From inside the spare bedroom, those outside, the ones with the best hearing and the keenest interest, could just discern wails, gnashing of teeth, hollering, and other indicators of controversial behavior. Ultimately though, after a short while, the young lady’s husband came out and pronounced to the swineherd, and the swineherd’s family and hangers on, that , “I’ll be taking Jezebel home with me shortly, but she wishes to thank you for your hospitality, swineherd, privately, prior to her departure.”
So then the swineherd entered into the spare bedroom where Jezebel was situated. They, the swineherd and Jezebel, shared what pleasantries they could under the circumstances, but then Jezebel turned serious and spelled the swineherd, “Please, please, ye got to hep me. I am indeed returning with my husband to his fine home, but the miracle of my recovery on pork and pork by-products, I know to be illusory. Shortly anon, I shall indeed expire, and I as I have now learned, when I expire The WG shall dispose of me as She see fits. But ere that befalls I shall birth a baby boy and his name shall be Ray. Please, please ease my passing, granting this boon. Keep track of baby Ray and if my husband despoils him, find it your heart to succor little Ray yourself, for I know he will be a good, sweet boy. Now also, I am much a-feared that my husband will re-marry anon, soon as I am tucked in the ground it is likely, so this also I would bid thee do. Visit my grave, or have some of your hangers on visit it, and make sure there are no forked carrots growing thereon, my grave. If you espy a forked carrot thereon, pull it up, expeditiously. And I will spell my husband just short of mine own ending, when he may fell most guilty, that he is not to re-marry until he espies a forked carrot emergent on my grave.”
“All righty then”, agreed the swineherd. “Easy that”. So the bargain of Jezebel and the swineherd was struck and the swineherd or one of his hangers on would check Jezebel’s grave for forked carrots frequently during the carrot growing season once Jezebel was tucked in.
Jezebel and the swineherd then bid a sad farewell and Jezebel hollered out that she was ready to depart. So her husband went to the front door of the swineherd’s house and hollered out to the big Cadillac limo parked in the driveway. But the got no answer for his chauffeur and his gun thug and his lawyer/land broker were inside the Cadillac limo with the motor running and the windows rolled up, and the AC on full blast, and the radio playing. So the husband had to go out and get them to roll down the window so he could instruct them.
“Get in the house and fetch out Jezebel and whatever stuff she has, and let’s get the Hell out of here”. Then his men exited the SUV, to do as they were ordered and the husband entered into the vehicle to await the return of his men with Jezebel, and all were much afflicted by the powerful aroma of swine, which permeated the air in those parts so that all eyes were teary and they held Kleenexes to their noses.
The young lady and her husband then commenced to chat, privately, and the swineherd and his bunch hung around outside the spare bedroom all beclouded by anxiety as to what the disposition in the fortunes of their houseguest should be, anon. From inside the spare bedroom, those outside, the ones with the best hearing and the keenest interest, could just discern wails, gnashing of teeth, hollering, and other indicators of controversial behavior. Ultimately though, after a short while, the young lady’s husband came out and pronounced to the swineherd, and the swineherd’s family and hangers on, that , “I’ll be taking Jezebel home with me shortly, but she wishes to thank you for your hospitality, swineherd, privately, prior to her departure.”
So then the swineherd entered into the spare bedroom where Jezebel was situated. They, the swineherd and Jezebel, shared what pleasantries they could under the circumstances, but then Jezebel turned serious and spelled the swineherd, “Please, please, ye got to hep me. I am indeed returning with my husband to his fine home, but the miracle of my recovery on pork and pork by-products, I know to be illusory. Shortly anon, I shall indeed expire, and I as I have now learned, when I expire The WG shall dispose of me as She see fits. But ere that befalls I shall birth a baby boy and his name shall be Ray. Please, please ease my passing, granting this boon. Keep track of baby Ray and if my husband despoils him, find it your heart to succor little Ray yourself, for I know he will be a good, sweet boy. Now also, I am much a-feared that my husband will re-marry anon, soon as I am tucked in the ground it is likely, so this also I would bid thee do. Visit my grave, or have some of your hangers on visit it, and make sure there are no forked carrots growing thereon, my grave. If you espy a forked carrot thereon, pull it up, expeditiously. And I will spell my husband just short of mine own ending, when he may fell most guilty, that he is not to re-marry until he espies a forked carrot emergent on my grave.”
“All righty then”, agreed the swineherd. “Easy that”. So the bargain of Jezebel and the swineherd was struck and the swineherd or one of his hangers on would check Jezebel’s grave for forked carrots frequently during the carrot growing season once Jezebel was tucked in.
Jezebel and the swineherd then bid a sad farewell and Jezebel hollered out that she was ready to depart. So her husband went to the front door of the swineherd’s house and hollered out to the big Cadillac limo parked in the driveway. But the got no answer for his chauffeur and his gun thug and his lawyer/land broker were inside the Cadillac limo with the motor running and the windows rolled up, and the AC on full blast, and the radio playing. So the husband had to go out and get them to roll down the window so he could instruct them.
“Get in the house and fetch out Jezebel and whatever stuff she has, and let’s get the Hell out of here”. Then his men exited the SUV, to do as they were ordered and the husband entered into the vehicle to await the return of his men with Jezebel, and all were much afflicted by the powerful aroma of swine, which permeated the air in those parts so that all eyes were teary and they held Kleenexes to their noses.
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, March 16, 2006
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