Druid News Service, Newsy News Feature - A Hopeful Supper

Goodness gracious sake alive! This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter for the DNS with another intermittent Newsy News feature. Merciful heavens! I knew that this assignment was just hopeless. I should have stayed at the CB. Merciful heavens! I couldn’t get anywhere near the supper event the Kinglet hosted. Even transmigrated as a fly, I couldn’t get in. And hanging around those parts as a fly is dangerous. I very nearly got swatted. Mercy! So instead of getting any newsy news for you viewers at home, all I got was the same load of crap everyone else got, which is the upside of my fly transmigration.

Darn it! I couldn’t even find out what they ate. Sorry Ray, honey, I know, you especially, wanted to know what was on the supper menu. As to the facts, pre- bib and tucker, the Kinglet opined,

I look forward to having dinner with friends of mine who don't happen to share
the same faith I do but nevertheless share the same outlook for a more hopeful
world.

And,

All of us must protect our countries, but at the same time we all must work
together to make the world a more hopeful place.

That was the highlight of that. Then they all trooped off to supper. I, Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, waited around for a seemingly interminable spell, hoping the Kinglet and his guests would come back and inform everyone about their nice supper, including what was on the menu. But no, of course the Kinglet couldn’t do that. No hope of that! Instead, out comes the minion mush mouth. As soon as I espied him, I buzzed off. Goodness gracious! What a waste of time! Perhaps Mr. Musharraf, who appears affable and communicative, shall spell the menu, anon.

Anyway, here I am at the DNS studio with some post supper analysis and digestion. With me is Dr. Hector Protector, Safety Expert. Dr. Protector, what did you make of the Kinglet’s pre-gustatory pronouncements?

Very exciting Ms. Remains, very exciting, and good for the trickle down economy!

Really, Dr. Protector! How do you figure that?

Ha! The Kinglet realizes that hope is the common denominator that trumps faith. There’s always hope, no matter the faith, and hope remains, even in the absence of faith. That’s why the Kinglet was willing to enjoy a free supper with those Muslims at the taxpayers expense. But let me, Dr. Protector, ask you a question, Missy Ace Reporter. Under what conditions do you hope, the most?

Goodness gracious, Dr Protector! Why generally I hope the most when times are hard and I hope times will get better. Or like just now, I was hoping to get a scoop and find out what was on the menu.

Certainly you hope for those kinds of things, sweetie. Me too. And that’s where the virtual safety business comes into play. You see, the Kinglet understands that making the world more hopeful is the same difference as making the world more miserable, scary, hard and dangerous. The worse it gets, the more hopeful everyone is. Then along I come, Dr. Protector, with virtual solutions for the hopeful. That Kinglet is the best salesman I ‘ve got!

Goodness gracious sakes alive, Dr. Protector. I’m starting to think you are a bad person. Yes, I’ve decided. You are a bad person! All you viewers out there in TV land, Dr. Protector is a bad person!

Calm down sweetie. I’m just giving the people what they want, more hope.

Yep, you are, you creepy jerk! Well let’s see now. What’s next? Oh my goodness! Hello burly boys and girls! Could you burly boys and girls, please take Dr. Protector out back and beat the snot of him?

What the hecks going on here! Unhand me! You can’t do this on TV. Help me, somebody, help me, I’m Dr. Hector Protector! Ms. Remains, stop this! I ‘m gonna sue! Unhand me, you varlets!

Yep. That’s nice. I guess reality trumped Dr. Protector’s virtual safety program for the nonce. And guess what, the burly boys and girls are fixing to hurt Dr. Protector really bad. Cause he’s a bad person. Goodness! This newsy news feature turned out better than I’d hoped. This is Ms. Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, signing off for the DNS. Watch out for the Wicker Man!!!!