Picking a New Kinglet
The current Kinglet may end his reign one of these days. Who knows for sure. But if he does, that means the Mammonite ruling class shall have to go through the process of helping US help them pick a new Kinglet. Already, in fact, US is undergoing that process, even though we could have a neo-emergency that might assure the current Kinglet stays on. Wouldn’t that be swell?
What qualification for Kinglet does the Mammonite ruling class direct US towards? Easy that, the Mammonite ruling class qualification for Kinglet is, most of something, or biggest or best of something, or something, unique. Like, for example, most money, fattest, skinniest, biggest weenie, best haircut. If, for example, the potential Kinglet has a littler weenie, or no weenie, then that potential candidate must have the most of something or biggest or best of something else to stand a chance. Hold it! What about no weenie? No weenie is unique.
Then too, the potential candidate must generally somehow appear Kinglet-ish at all times, 24/7, or when on camera, whichever. An example, the attention of US is directed to the potential Kinglet Thompson, who is going for baldest, most home spun and most Chitlin-like facial expression. “Check into a mental hospital, Michael Moore, huh-huh.”
Are there still mental hospitals to check into? Have not all the mental hospitals been replaced by, spas?
What qualification got our current Kinglet into the White Palace? Well, this Kinglet was the most likable. All of US just knew, somehow, that this Kinglet is a fun-loving character, not above playing a little goosy-goose and grab ass with the boys, huh-huh. Reckon this Kinglet has ever given General Gestapo Gonzalez a towel pop or a wedgie?
This time, the Mammonite ruling class has provided lots of potential Kinglet options, so part of the fun is, figuring out which potential Kinglet has what it takes. Like, which potential Kinglet is the richest? If you go for the richest candidate, you need to figure out which one is the richest before you totally commit yourself and vote. Mitt, may be the absolute richest, maybe. Plus, Mitt also has the weirdest religion, maybe. So Mitt has two tops going for himself, maybe, and should get lots of US supporting himself.
Which potential Kinglet has suffered the most from affronts to their political ambitions or personal tragedies or sickness or general misery or incarceration? Who is the most suffering of all the candidates? Not easy that. A couple of them have suffered, but US needs to figure out which one has suffered the most before electing that one. Mammonite ruling class, help US out. Which one of the potential Kinglets has suffered the most?
Also, Mammonite ruling class, you could supply US with a little quantitative data. Run some tests on the potentials. Put the tests on TV instead of those dopey debates. For example, there must be a machine that could measure candidate color. Line them all up, run them through the machine, and then have all the pundits comment on which one is whitest and which one is brownest. Help US out more with our decision making process, Mammonite ruling class!
What qualification for Kinglet does the Mammonite ruling class direct US towards? Easy that, the Mammonite ruling class qualification for Kinglet is, most of something, or biggest or best of something, or something, unique. Like, for example, most money, fattest, skinniest, biggest weenie, best haircut. If, for example, the potential Kinglet has a littler weenie, or no weenie, then that potential candidate must have the most of something or biggest or best of something else to stand a chance. Hold it! What about no weenie? No weenie is unique.
Then too, the potential candidate must generally somehow appear Kinglet-ish at all times, 24/7, or when on camera, whichever. An example, the attention of US is directed to the potential Kinglet Thompson, who is going for baldest, most home spun and most Chitlin-like facial expression. “Check into a mental hospital, Michael Moore, huh-huh.”
Are there still mental hospitals to check into? Have not all the mental hospitals been replaced by, spas?
What qualification got our current Kinglet into the White Palace? Well, this Kinglet was the most likable. All of US just knew, somehow, that this Kinglet is a fun-loving character, not above playing a little goosy-goose and grab ass with the boys, huh-huh. Reckon this Kinglet has ever given General Gestapo Gonzalez a towel pop or a wedgie?
This time, the Mammonite ruling class has provided lots of potential Kinglet options, so part of the fun is, figuring out which potential Kinglet has what it takes. Like, which potential Kinglet is the richest? If you go for the richest candidate, you need to figure out which one is the richest before you totally commit yourself and vote. Mitt, may be the absolute richest, maybe. Plus, Mitt also has the weirdest religion, maybe. So Mitt has two tops going for himself, maybe, and should get lots of US supporting himself.
Which potential Kinglet has suffered the most from affronts to their political ambitions or personal tragedies or sickness or general misery or incarceration? Who is the most suffering of all the candidates? Not easy that. A couple of them have suffered, but US needs to figure out which one has suffered the most before electing that one. Mammonite ruling class, help US out. Which one of the potential Kinglets has suffered the most?
Also, Mammonite ruling class, you could supply US with a little quantitative data. Run some tests on the potentials. Put the tests on TV instead of those dopey debates. For example, there must be a machine that could measure candidate color. Line them all up, run them through the machine, and then have all the pundits comment on which one is whitest and which one is brownest. Help US out more with our decision making process, Mammonite ruling class!
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, May 24, 2007
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