Crumby in the Orgone Box

Jeez Louise! Waves are lapping at my orgone box. I must be adrift on a great sea or ocean, or a large lake, maybe. How did I get here? Whoa! Why hello young lady. How did you come to also occupy my orgone box which is apparently adrift, but fortuitously, water tight?

Hello Crumby. I am the Goddess of Telephone Help Lines. My job is to help you determine the various fates of all your digital appliances. Now Crumby, I understand that you appealed directly to the WG regarding your new camera. That’s why I am with you at this nonce in your orgone box. The WG ordered me to visit with you personally about your new camera.

Uh. Then you are not here to enjoy sexual intercourse with me.

No! This is strictly business Crumby. Whatever gave you such a notion? I do not enjoy sexual intercourse with the customers.

Right. That figures.

Good. Now that we have all that straight, how did you break your camera, Crumby?

I stuck my finger in it and the mirror popped out.

Hmmm. So the electrified, digital components of the camera were not damaged when you stuck your finger in the camera?

Beats me. The mirror popped out, though. I don’t think I poked anything else inside there. I didn’t get shocked.

So, as far as you know Crumby, the damage you inflicted on your new camera is limited to a mechanical component?

Yepper.

Now Crumby, in your appeal to the WG, you asserted that the cost of the repair required to fix your camera would lead a Rayetta to kill you or hurt you beyond your endurance. Is that correct?

Yepper.

Has this Rayetta killed you or hurt you, yet?

Uh. Maybe. My noggin hurts. Yep. I have a terrible lump on my noggin.

Hmmm. Well then Crumby, perhaps you have suffered enough. Tell you what. How would you like it if I discounted the repair cost of your new camera to about $180?

That would be swell. Can you do that?

Course I can? I’m the Goddess of Telephone Help Lines. Besides, otherwise your new camera might wind up in a landfill taking up space, eventually, leaking toxic chemicals into the ground water and hastening the Great Titration.

Mercy! Ok. I shall take the discount, all righty then.

Good. Now one more thing Crumby. In a civil society there are rules. One of those rules is, everyone is supposed to go through the chain of command. So from now on, Crumby, when you break one of your digital appliances, remember to call me first, instead of the WG. Do you understand all that, Crumby?

Yepper.

Good. So that’s all settled. Bye Crumby. Click.

Whoa! Where’d she go?