Saturday, July 21, 2007

Crumby the Exorcist - Part III

OK Petey. Time to get down. Petey want some nice kitty chow. Yes he do. Yes he do. Yes he do. Yes he do. What a good mongoose Petey is. Ha! Why looky here! I, the Crumby Ovate, find myself all alone in an empty laboratory. The venue is all mine. So I shall spell a spell of Demons. Woooooooooooooo!

My personal trusty camera, the C 5060 WZ went totally crazy the day we got back from Hawaii. Here’s what I think may have happened. The C 5060 was crammed into a bag for the return trip with a bunch of other gear. It’s on switch must have gotten switched to the on position from getting mashed on or from rubbing elbows or assholes with some of the other gear. Then, some of the other buttons must have also activated. So for a while, the C 5060 happily performed various camera functions inside the bag until its battery was exhausted.

I was in a hurry. I needed to take some pictures pronto so I dug my trusty C 5060 out of the trip camera bag and headed out to the east pasture. But I didn’t get far into that terrible wilderness. The C 5060 would not power up. My trusty camera is broke. My trusty camera is broke. My trusty camera is broke. My trusty camera is broke. What did I do to deserve this? First the new camera, twice. Now my trusty camera. Boo-hoo-hoo!

Change the battery, Rayetta advised.

But Rayetta, I just changed batteries before we left Hawaii.

Change it anyway Crumby. It probably turned itself on in the bag.

So that’s what I did, change the battery.

Yippee! Thanks Rayetta. It’s powering on and seems to be working fine. Hold it! No it’s not. It’s going crazy. It’s doing everything all at once. Mercy! It’s out of control Rayetta. None of the buttons are doing what they’re supposed to. It’s taking pictures. It’s taking flash pictures. It won’t let me delete anything. It’s playing a little song. Help! It’s broke, it’s broke, it’s broke, it’s broke. What did I do to deserve this!

The C 5060, while it was going crazy, also recorded the previous paragraph and played the contents back in movie mode, repeatedly.

Jeez Louise, it’s recording me Rayetta. It’s playing the recording back, over and over. Mercy! This may kill me Rayetta. I may have a nervous breakdown.

Turn it on and off a few times, Crumby. Then let it rest, Rayetta advised. Perhaps it’s confused.

It won’t turn off Rayetta. It’s possessed. A demon is at the controls of my trusty camera.

I followed Rayetta’s advice. Eventually my trusty C 5060 returned to its senses. You see, a demon had not actually gotten into my camera. Rather, there was some other explanation for its behavior, more mysterious than demonic possession.

The weak minded may get the impression from this venue that Old School Druids believe Demons are real, supernatural type organisms. Nothing could be further round about the Ellipse. However, we do hold the opinion that, there are too many humans and many, maybe most of those humans, are no good. Evidence reinforcing this opinion is, humans invented the demonic realm to account for human behavior, thus shucking accountability. The most cogent political expression of the demonic realm among US is the Republican Party. The religious expression is the Mammon worship of the Christian right. The realm of demons, demonic imps and other assorted devils is also a popular, anecdotal notion.

No wonder then that I, the Crumby Ovate, should undertake a perilous journey. Yes. There I went off to visit the conked out Kinglet, the Crown of the State, the Savior of the Mammonites. Yes. There I was laboring mightily over the Kinglet’s upturned postern. Out Smirk, out Shirk, I cried. Get on out of the Kinglet, ye twain demons. How those demons hissed as the Holy Water from my trusty Disciples Squirt Pistol afflicted them. Mercy! Mercy!, they whined.

For a time it seemed that the Kinglet relaxed and was at peace, his demons exorcised. Alas and alack though, I fear that as soon as I turned my back, those twain demons re-infested the Kinglet. Alas and alack, those twain demons, were strong with the Kinglet, as if they had always been there, with the Kinglet, a life time symbiotic relationship. But time will tell if my ministrations affected any good. We shall see, anon

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