Crumby Goes to the Dentist
Just relax, and think pleasant thoughts.
Mercy! Anytime a nurse, spells that, you know you are in for some hard times.
All righty then. Crumby, I spelled to myself, you have voluntarily placed yourself in this situation, potentially equivalent to a lamb going off to slaughter. So there is no sense struggling.
But I could easily go berserk, then subdue my tormentors. Why not overpower the nurse and dentist? Why not torture them, then go home?
Because Crumby, if you do that, no one will pull your cracked tooth, ever. Besides, the Lovely Druidess, awaiting patiently without, shall be mighty aggravated with you, if you attack the dental staff.
All righty then. I shall relax and think pleasant thoughts. Er. How easy is it, to relax and think pleasant thoughts when total strangers have me totally in their power? They are fixing to knock me out. Perhaps, they may not be content to pull out just the cracked tooth once they have me knocked out. What else might they do to me? Mercy!
What time is it? Let's see if I may espy my trusty watch. Then, when I wake up, I shall know how much time has elapsed. Ha! 11:30 AM. We shall soon see whether I survive all this, anon. And if I survive, I shall know precisely how long this dental staff had me in their power.
Ha! You rascals. You may surmise that I am out cold. Yet I am only playing possum. I can hear all your banter. What? You have lost my toofer. No! There it is. Do you see it?
Right before the dental staff put the laughing gas on me and searched for a vein, in one hand then the other, preparatory to actually pulling my cracked toofer, I queried, How easy is it to relax and think pleasant thoughts? Depends on the situation, eh, maybe.
Then, the dentist while busily employed on my person, told an anecdote about a bicyclist who pedaled himself into a Yucca. By the described enormous size of the Yucca, I determined that the unlucky bicyclist had pedaled into a Yucca treculeana. Ouch! That reminded me of the time I got up out of my trusty sleeping bag and, seeking to perform an ablution outside my trusty tent, walked into an example of that same species of Yucca, or perhaps it was the virtually indistingusiable Y. torreyi, noggin first.
Oh yes. I relaxed and thought many a pleasant thought at the dentist's.
Mercy! Anytime a nurse, spells that, you know you are in for some hard times.
All righty then. Crumby, I spelled to myself, you have voluntarily placed yourself in this situation, potentially equivalent to a lamb going off to slaughter. So there is no sense struggling.
But I could easily go berserk, then subdue my tormentors. Why not overpower the nurse and dentist? Why not torture them, then go home?
Because Crumby, if you do that, no one will pull your cracked tooth, ever. Besides, the Lovely Druidess, awaiting patiently without, shall be mighty aggravated with you, if you attack the dental staff.
All righty then. I shall relax and think pleasant thoughts. Er. How easy is it, to relax and think pleasant thoughts when total strangers have me totally in their power? They are fixing to knock me out. Perhaps, they may not be content to pull out just the cracked tooth once they have me knocked out. What else might they do to me? Mercy!
What time is it? Let's see if I may espy my trusty watch. Then, when I wake up, I shall know how much time has elapsed. Ha! 11:30 AM. We shall soon see whether I survive all this, anon. And if I survive, I shall know precisely how long this dental staff had me in their power.
Ha! You rascals. You may surmise that I am out cold. Yet I am only playing possum. I can hear all your banter. What? You have lost my toofer. No! There it is. Do you see it?
Right before the dental staff put the laughing gas on me and searched for a vein, in one hand then the other, preparatory to actually pulling my cracked toofer, I queried, How easy is it to relax and think pleasant thoughts? Depends on the situation, eh, maybe.
Then, the dentist while busily employed on my person, told an anecdote about a bicyclist who pedaled himself into a Yucca. By the described enormous size of the Yucca, I determined that the unlucky bicyclist had pedaled into a Yucca treculeana. Ouch! That reminded me of the time I got up out of my trusty sleeping bag and, seeking to perform an ablution outside my trusty tent, walked into an example of that same species of Yucca, or perhaps it was the virtually indistingusiable Y. torreyi, noggin first.
Oh yes. I relaxed and thought many a pleasant thought at the dentist's.
posted by ray pistrum at Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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