Magnus is Attacked by Ancient Romans, Part 4

Onward the twain of them journeyed, both Twrch Trwyth and his companion, Magnus.

You know Twrch, we should exact some revenge on Child Molester Village for all the annoyance they caused me.

That is correct, Magnus. Never forget, never forgive, always do pay back.

What do you reckon we should do, in terms of payback, to those child molesters, Twrch?

We should afflict them, and I should eat a few of them. A few of them, mind you Magnus, not all of them. I shall not eat so many of them as to jeopardize their long term productivity.

Yeah but, Twrch. This is about me, not you. I’m the one that got molested. Besides, in those days I was more impressionable. There’s no telling what long term adverse effects those child molesters had on my personal psychology or attitude.

OK Magnus. You, personally, shall fit the punishment to the crime. Whatever you decide is hunky dory by me. Just remember Magnus, I am merely a large pig. What if I come to Child Molester Village one day, starving? Yet no food items are available in Child Molester Village, because, Magnus, on your advice, I ate them all up on my previous visit.

Jeez Louise, Twrch! All you ever think about is eating everyone up. What makes you think I want you to eat them all up? I don’t necessarily want you to eat them all up. Jeez Louise!

Well excuse me Magnus. I thought you wanted my help. But perhaps you don’t want the help of the globe’s largest pig. You probably consider my methodology crude, or even swinish. I thought we were friends. Yet all this time, even when we shared my sty, you were thinking, that pig eats too much.

No, no, no, Twrch. I never thought that, then. Uh! OK. What we need to do is just scare the child molesters. Then, once we scare them, I shall give them a good talking to. Then, just to show we mean business, you can maybe eat up all their peanuts.

Time passes.

Twrch, do you think that’s a good plan?

Time passes. The journey continues in silence.

So you are fxing to not have any more polite discourse with me, Twrch?

Time passes. The journey continues in silence.

All righty then, Twrch. I am super sorry I said, all you ever think about is eating everyone up. I didn’t mean that. I know you think about lots of other stuff, not just eating everyone. Why, here I sit, comfortably astride your mighty noggin, living proof that you don’t merely eat everyone. Plus, looking back on our long friendship, I don’t recall that you ate any of the paying customers at the WG Bar and Grill, either.

I ate a few of them, Magnus.

You did?

Yes Magnus. But only the ones that got too far behind on their bar tabs. You may see, Magnus, that even the globe’s largest pig is bound by rules. Plus, the WG keeps me on a tight leash, metaphorically speaking.

Well OK, Twrch. Like I say, I am super sorry. Now that I think about all that, it must be a super big dialectic that you must harbor within your mighty noggin on a daily basis. That thought makes me even sorrier than I was before. Now I am beyond super sorry. Boo-hoo-hoo!

Don’t cry Magnus! If you cry, I shall cry. Then, with my eyes clouded up with an ocean of tears, I shall not be able to see where I’m going. We could have a wreck.

All righty then, Twrch. I’m OK now. Sniffle. Are we still buddies?

Yes we are, Magnus, best buddies.

On the soft-hearted companions go, making relentless progress in the general direction of Child Molester Village. By the way, only Twrch and Magnus, refer to Child Molester Village as Child Molester Village. Anon, we may discover what everyone else on the planet calls Child Molester Village.