Ray’s T for the D- Obama in 30 seconds
Whoa! Turns out, if I actually do a 30 second TV ad for Senator Obama, and it gets selected, I could win $20,000 worth of video equipment. Plus millions shall see my ad, including Matt Damon. I wonder how much I could get for $20,000 worth of video equipment on EBAY if all the equipment was still in its original boxes.
Er. I reckon the purpose of the ad is to sway the millions, including Matt Damon, into giving more money, and ultimately voting, perhaps twice, for Senator Obama. That being so, maybe, I think my ad should emphasize the miraculous. Yes. Even though many do not believe in miracles, many pretend. Besides, if the miracle was documented on TV, by my ad, then many would have to believe their eyes. That’s right.
All righty then. I need a script or whatever. Er. OK. The scene is set at the Great Salt Lake due to the added buoyancy of that particular body of water. No point taking chances. Every little bit helps.
We start with a long distance shot of Senator Obama attired in his bathing costume, standing a ways out on the water. A voice cries out, walk Senator Obama, walk on the water, you can do it.
Tentatively, Senator Obama takes a first baby step. But right away he espies that though he can stand on the water, he may not actually be able to walk on the water.
No, no, no! I can’t do it, I need your help. Merciful White Goddess, please help me walk on this water. The Merciful WG hears the mournful cry of Senator Obama, who is pitifully adrift, yet standing upright on that great salt sea or lake. Ethereal music wafts about everyone's ears, mysteriously indicating the WG knows what's happening.
Suddenly, million of sea gulls come flying to the rescue. Hold it! That’s been done, twice. No, millions of yellow-headed blackbirds (Xanthocephalus xanthocephalus) that normally nest in the adjacent marshes, come flying over. Those xanthcephalic blackbirds quickly assume a funnel cloud like formation over Senator Obama. Obviously, the additional lift provided by the bird tornado is all Senator Obama needs. He skips along merrily to shore, where he is greeted by a tousand or maybe two tousand witnesses who saw him walking on water, live.
I am Barack Obama. And I approved this message. Send the prize to Ray.
Er. I reckon the purpose of the ad is to sway the millions, including Matt Damon, into giving more money, and ultimately voting, perhaps twice, for Senator Obama. That being so, maybe, I think my ad should emphasize the miraculous. Yes. Even though many do not believe in miracles, many pretend. Besides, if the miracle was documented on TV, by my ad, then many would have to believe their eyes. That’s right.
All righty then. I need a script or whatever. Er. OK. The scene is set at the Great Salt Lake due to the added buoyancy of that particular body of water. No point taking chances. Every little bit helps.
We start with a long distance shot of Senator Obama attired in his bathing costume, standing a ways out on the water. A voice cries out, walk Senator Obama, walk on the water, you can do it.
Tentatively, Senator Obama takes a first baby step. But right away he espies that though he can stand on the water, he may not actually be able to walk on the water.
No, no, no! I can’t do it, I need your help. Merciful White Goddess, please help me walk on this water. The Merciful WG hears the mournful cry of Senator Obama, who is pitifully adrift, yet standing upright on that great salt sea or lake. Ethereal music wafts about everyone's ears, mysteriously indicating the WG knows what's happening.
Suddenly, million of sea gulls come flying to the rescue. Hold it! That’s been done, twice. No, millions of yellow-headed blackbirds (Xanthocephalus xanthocephalus) that normally nest in the adjacent marshes, come flying over. Those xanthcephalic blackbirds quickly assume a funnel cloud like formation over Senator Obama. Obviously, the additional lift provided by the bird tornado is all Senator Obama needs. He skips along merrily to shore, where he is greeted by a tousand or maybe two tousand witnesses who saw him walking on water, live.
I am Barack Obama. And I approved this message. Send the prize to Ray.
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, March 27, 2008
1 Comments:
Here's my favorite.
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