Ray and Crumby, Bosom Companions, Again!
Boy howdy! I narrowly survived a big boy whuppin’. Thank goodness my twain beautiful girl friends happened to be handy when Crumby launched his surprise attack. Yepper. My twain beautiful girlfriends managed to get between me and my bosom companion. They saved me all righty then, by superimposing their bodies between me and Crumby. Bravely they hugged themselves to my form, which by that time, was almost lifeless. They cried out, Crumby, what did your Granny tell you about smiting ladies? To get at Ray, you must smite us twain ladies first. What would your Granny say about that?
Then Crumby at last realized that his noggin was overcome by witless rage, that he was beside himself, that he was hopping mad, that he was fixing to actually smite ladies to get at me, his loving bosom companion, Ray. Whew! That was close. I shall never, ever, discuss Crumby’s Granny in public again. Plus I am really sorry I did that in the first place. But it is not my fault. You may see that lacking any Grannies myself, I did not fully understand how a reference to Crumby’s Granny might set him off. So I was innocent, yet I got what I deserved anyway, for being ignorant. A bosom companion should have known better.
There now Crumby, I have apologized publicly.
Thanks bosom companion, Ray. I appreciate your sincere apology. And I too, am sorry that I smote you from your blind side employing a cowardly surprise attack. My instinctual and irrational behavior was understandable, thanks to my inner ape. So I too am innocent on that account. Yet I am judged not only by my inner ape, but by my Druid Training which keeps my inner ape peacefully eating bananas somewhere inside me. At least my Druid Training finally restrained my inner ape before it was too late. There is no telling what your sister would do to me if you were slain outright, Ray.
Yepper. That is correct Crumby. Under those dreadful circumstances, Rayetta would make the remainder of your existence on this globe in this plane a living hell. Yet now all that has abated and we shall live happily ever after, bosom companion.
All righty then, bosom companions, forever!
Then Crumby at last realized that his noggin was overcome by witless rage, that he was beside himself, that he was hopping mad, that he was fixing to actually smite ladies to get at me, his loving bosom companion, Ray. Whew! That was close. I shall never, ever, discuss Crumby’s Granny in public again. Plus I am really sorry I did that in the first place. But it is not my fault. You may see that lacking any Grannies myself, I did not fully understand how a reference to Crumby’s Granny might set him off. So I was innocent, yet I got what I deserved anyway, for being ignorant. A bosom companion should have known better.
There now Crumby, I have apologized publicly.
Thanks bosom companion, Ray. I appreciate your sincere apology. And I too, am sorry that I smote you from your blind side employing a cowardly surprise attack. My instinctual and irrational behavior was understandable, thanks to my inner ape. So I too am innocent on that account. Yet I am judged not only by my inner ape, but by my Druid Training which keeps my inner ape peacefully eating bananas somewhere inside me. At least my Druid Training finally restrained my inner ape before it was too late. There is no telling what your sister would do to me if you were slain outright, Ray.
Yepper. That is correct Crumby. Under those dreadful circumstances, Rayetta would make the remainder of your existence on this globe in this plane a living hell. Yet now all that has abated and we shall live happily ever after, bosom companion.
All righty then, bosom companions, forever!
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, March 20, 2008
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