Ray’s T for the D - National Dark Sky Week
Or, we’re so phony, we’re funny, maybe.
It has come, a whole week of secular holiday. What we do is switch off all our unnecessary outdoor lighting. Which means, in practice we do nothing. Because all the outdoor lighting is necessary. Yes. The outdoor lighting protects us from coyotes and terrorists. Or, it demonstrates our patriotic belief in Jesus, all year. Or it allows us to play baseball in the dark. And don’t forget those happy motorists zipping along 290W. What about them? They can’t change lanes in the stygian darkness, their swerving erratic progress illuminated only by headlights.
Alas! All the outdoor lighting is necessary, one way or another. So what is the point of National Dark Sky Week anyway. Well, National Dark Sky Week is a sop to the powerful Amateur Astronomy Lobby (AAL). The AAL realizing that most of its membership is confined under starless skies, making their expensive telescopery gear useless, except for window peeping, decided that everyone needed to fell guilty about the disappearance of the stars. Also, everyone needed to feel sorry for their membership.
The AAL sent their best lobbyists to Capital (sic) Hill. Long they pleaded. Please, please, turn out some of the night lights. We can not espy the stars. We can not even espy Polaris, our friendly guide star. How shall we know which way to go in the dark?
The negotiation was long and arduous. Eventually a compromise was reached, National Dark Sky Week. Yes. During National Dark Sky Week everyone pretends to turn off some outdoor lighting. Then, when that does not improve heavenly visibility, everyone feels sorry for, and commiserates with, the average miserable amateur astronomer.
Oh you poor little fellow. You can’t see stars. That is too sad. However, you must realize that you should not go outside at night in the first place. A coyote or terrorist will get you.
Come to think of it, why has Homeland Security failed to cancel National Dark Sky Week all together? Surely those cutting edge fascists, I mean brave and imaginative bureaucrats or consultants, must realize the security gap National Dark Sky Week pretends to engender. Surely they must know, that.
In summary, National Dark Sky Week is not only a whole week of secular holiday, it is also, a virtual holiday. Wake me as fickle Ogma rises
It has come, a whole week of secular holiday. What we do is switch off all our unnecessary outdoor lighting. Which means, in practice we do nothing. Because all the outdoor lighting is necessary. Yes. The outdoor lighting protects us from coyotes and terrorists. Or, it demonstrates our patriotic belief in Jesus, all year. Or it allows us to play baseball in the dark. And don’t forget those happy motorists zipping along 290W. What about them? They can’t change lanes in the stygian darkness, their swerving erratic progress illuminated only by headlights.
Alas! All the outdoor lighting is necessary, one way or another. So what is the point of National Dark Sky Week anyway. Well, National Dark Sky Week is a sop to the powerful Amateur Astronomy Lobby (AAL). The AAL realizing that most of its membership is confined under starless skies, making their expensive telescopery gear useless, except for window peeping, decided that everyone needed to fell guilty about the disappearance of the stars. Also, everyone needed to feel sorry for their membership.
The AAL sent their best lobbyists to Capital (sic) Hill. Long they pleaded. Please, please, turn out some of the night lights. We can not espy the stars. We can not even espy Polaris, our friendly guide star. How shall we know which way to go in the dark?
The negotiation was long and arduous. Eventually a compromise was reached, National Dark Sky Week. Yes. During National Dark Sky Week everyone pretends to turn off some outdoor lighting. Then, when that does not improve heavenly visibility, everyone feels sorry for, and commiserates with, the average miserable amateur astronomer.
Oh you poor little fellow. You can’t see stars. That is too sad. However, you must realize that you should not go outside at night in the first place. A coyote or terrorist will get you.
Come to think of it, why has Homeland Security failed to cancel National Dark Sky Week all together? Surely those cutting edge fascists, I mean brave and imaginative bureaucrats or consultants, must realize the security gap National Dark Sky Week pretends to engender. Surely they must know, that.
In summary, National Dark Sky Week is not only a whole week of secular holiday, it is also, a virtual holiday. Wake me as fickle Ogma rises
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, April 04, 2008
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