Life as I Know It, Could be a Lot Funnier
Correct. I am totally trapped in the Republic of Tejas (ROT). And while it is true that I dwell in a relatively civilized part of the whole, I really wish to be entirely shut of the ROT. But like I said before, I’m trapped.
If I was out of the ROT, the antics of Rebel Rick, Succotash of the Secesh would be much funnier. Yes. If I was out of here, then the governor’s pandering to all these ignorant savages would be really, really funny instead of simultaneously slightly amusing and remotely scary. Mercy! It’s a good thing all these ignorant savages are mostly cowards. If they had any guts, the thin veneer of civilization afforded by participation in the Union should be ripped asunder, much like when a person’s finger may suddenly go right through cheap tp.
Yes. Druids like me can seldom resist pay dirt metaphors. So to continue, the civilization afforded by the Union in the ROT is tp thin, economy tp thin. That’s because these ignorant savages have entirely forgotten stuff like the Rural Electrification Act which made possible the ignorant savage way of life now enjoyed by the ignorant savages out in the sticks. Who paid for rural electrification? Not the ignorant savages who got electricity piped to their domiciles out in the middle of nowhere. No, not quite, US civilization paid for it. Taxes paid for it. Or, listening to the ignorant savages these days, socialism paid for it.
Ignorant fucking savages! According to these ignorant savages, Planet Earth is about ten thousand years old. Ignorant savages who believe that, have no trouble believing the rest of the bullshit they all believe. For example, they believe peccaries are so dangerous, peccaries alone justify toting a bazooka around in the park. Peccaries or peckers, whatever.
These ignorant savages want compensation for the “property” that was stolen from them after the first secesh event. They want to get to herd up in big crowds where they cry and snivel all over one another about how hard they have had to work since the government stole great granpa’s Negroes.
They want to pray, publicly, at every gathering of two and up. Yes. They want to pray, whining to Jesus about how mistreated they are because they are required to pay taxes. Yes. They have to pay taxes with representation. Quite so. Even with a Republican representative the ignorant savages still have to pay taxes. Plus, even with a Republican representative they may be fixing to lose the right to bear arms. Yes. They may no longer get to participate in a well-regulated militia. So they need to also pray to Jesus to save their well-regulated militia. How remarkable is that? Jeez Louise!
If I was out of the ROT, the antics of Rebel Rick, Succotash of the Secesh would be much funnier. Yes. If I was out of here, then the governor’s pandering to all these ignorant savages would be really, really funny instead of simultaneously slightly amusing and remotely scary. Mercy! It’s a good thing all these ignorant savages are mostly cowards. If they had any guts, the thin veneer of civilization afforded by participation in the Union should be ripped asunder, much like when a person’s finger may suddenly go right through cheap tp.
Yes. Druids like me can seldom resist pay dirt metaphors. So to continue, the civilization afforded by the Union in the ROT is tp thin, economy tp thin. That’s because these ignorant savages have entirely forgotten stuff like the Rural Electrification Act which made possible the ignorant savage way of life now enjoyed by the ignorant savages out in the sticks. Who paid for rural electrification? Not the ignorant savages who got electricity piped to their domiciles out in the middle of nowhere. No, not quite, US civilization paid for it. Taxes paid for it. Or, listening to the ignorant savages these days, socialism paid for it.
Ignorant fucking savages! According to these ignorant savages, Planet Earth is about ten thousand years old. Ignorant savages who believe that, have no trouble believing the rest of the bullshit they all believe. For example, they believe peccaries are so dangerous, peccaries alone justify toting a bazooka around in the park. Peccaries or peckers, whatever.
These ignorant savages want compensation for the “property” that was stolen from them after the first secesh event. They want to get to herd up in big crowds where they cry and snivel all over one another about how hard they have had to work since the government stole great granpa’s Negroes.
They want to pray, publicly, at every gathering of two and up. Yes. They want to pray, whining to Jesus about how mistreated they are because they are required to pay taxes. Yes. They have to pay taxes with representation. Quite so. Even with a Republican representative the ignorant savages still have to pay taxes. Plus, even with a Republican representative they may be fixing to lose the right to bear arms. Yes. They may no longer get to participate in a well-regulated militia. So they need to also pray to Jesus to save their well-regulated militia. How remarkable is that? Jeez Louise!
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, April 17, 2009
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