Life is Capricious, Planning is Futile

Jesus can help though. All you need to do is take Jesus as your personal savior as opposed to Papa Legba, and uh, life will no longer be capricious. Plus, with Jesus as your guide or role model, you will be able to plan logically for all possible contingencies.

Yes you will. That was the message on talk radio Haiti, where, before the earth quaked, Americano evangelicals owned over half that media, and thus those airwaves. Surely God spared all the evangelical radio stations. Surely they continue to broadcast the good news.

Dare we surmise that the average heathen may become rich, richer than that heathen duda's* wildest dreams, if only that heathen shuns the spooks and takes up with Jesus instead. Yes. The best part of the message is, Jesus, with a little help from the Demon Mammon, shall provide riches to the faithful, right here on Earth, this tiny planet that most of us call home.

Correct. The good news is, nobody has to die to get stuff. The good stuff is available here and now. All you got to do is have faith and believe. Uh. Maybe you need to prime the pump, too. Give a little, get back plenty.

Many speculate. Why is Haiti poor and miserable compared to everywhere else in these parts? Recently, the speculation of the many identified Voodoo as causative. Correct. Voodoo encourages fatalism. Therefore, a population enthralled by Voodoo, lacks get up and go.

Instead of getting up and going, like to Florida, those pagan dudas, focus on cutting deals with Erzulie, the beautiful Earth Mother or Love Goddess, or maybe with Papa Legba. Like one time this duda got mounted by Papa Legba. Then Papa Legba told everyone about a pirate treasure that needed digging up. Only thing was, Papa Legba says, OK. The only one that can actually find the lost pirate treasure is Karl the Tracker Druid, a foreign heathen. You may either pay Karl’s fee, or give Karl a little of the treasure once he finds it.

But Papa Legba, How do we summon Karl the Tracker Druid?

Papa Legba says, I have Karl’s e-mail.

Then the heathen e-mailed Karl.

Did Karl take the job? Did Karl find the treasure? Did Karl get his fee? Course

he did. Karl used his share of the treasure to send Ajax to Mule Obedience School.
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*dude, dudette, pl. dudas

Dudas is a bisexual word. Since dudas is bisexual, it can replace the phrases he or she, him or her, man or woman, she or he, her or him, woman or man, etc. Thus dudas is handy. Camp down races nine miles long, dudas, dudas.