Tetragonis

I’m leaving for work. Here they are just pulling up in the driveway, Crumby hollered.

Nobody answered. But sure as shootin’, a Surburban, a great vehicle of the type preferred by Crumby’s employers lumbered on to the driveway and lurched to a stop.

The occupants shouted at Crumby. Hello, hello, hello. Is all that gear going? We need to rearrange the truck.

Then everybody rearranged while Crumby stowed gear in the second seat. Crumby always carried plenty of gear. It took him two trips to get all his gear loaded.

Meantime this is how they rearranged the Suburban. Two senior consultants occupied the front seat. Then came Crumby and his gear in the second seat. The rest of the great vehicle was occupied by ancillary young employees pocket pooling between cell phone calls in the back seats.

Praise the Goddess, thought Crumby. I get my own seat.

However, Crumby was not quite ready to depart. Hold it a minute. I need to go back in the house to see if I left a door open for the dogs.

Crumby went over and opened the front door. Crumby went in. There were the dogs. They wanted to go to. Crumby headed to the bathroom. I better do another ablution thought Crumby.

OK, hollered Crumby as he zipped up. I am fixing to head out.

Nobody answered.

No. You can’t go. You need to stay here and guard the house, Crumby explained to the dogs.

I’m heading out, Crumby hollered as he closed and locked the front door.

Nobody answered.

Crumby clambered up into the great vehicle. This is great, thought Crumby. Both my main legs are working.

The great vehicle backed out of the driveway. Off they went.

On the great vehicle journeyed over hill and dale. Everywhere the great vehicle went, Crumby espied progress. Yes. Parts and parcels were getting paved over everywhere. And it was Crumby’s job to make sure that the rich responsible parties felt good about paving the planet.

On they went.

Finally though, push came to shove.

Crumby! This job is to ascertain how we can improve the habitat in these parts for tetragonis, explained the senior consultant on the passenger side. Yes. We need to improve the habitat, echoed the driver.

What are tetragonis? Crumby wanted to know. I never heard of tetragonis.

Tetragonis are upland meat animals and birds, explained the senior consultants. See. This is what the tetrogonis look like.

The passenger side senior consultant reached over the front seat handing Crumby a nicely laminated color foldout brochure. The brochure featured pictures of various tetragonis.

Crumby examined the brochure.

Hey! These tetrogonis all look like hams or roast chickens. Mercy!

Crumby frantically looked around, out the windows. The great vehicle was speeding along on a highway through parts familiar to Crumby.

Stop the great vehicle, Crumby hollered. Stop the dang vehicle and let me out.

Then Crumby woke up.

Whew! It was only a dream.