At the Pot and The Fat Suckers

Typically, the handles break on old pots. Once that happens at the CB, those pots are liable to wind up outside. Once outside those pots may get filled up with water. Everybody likes a nice refreshing drink of cool water.

If an average photographer like Crumby wishes to avoid spooking the birds, he needs to keep the door shut and shoot through the glass. That’s what is happening here. But here, unlike with those sparrows at the bird bath, the light is better. Way better.

The Fat Suckers

Crumby is getting plenty bored with staying inside all the time. When Crumby gets bored, he tries to think up changes that would be good for everyone, for humanity in all its miserable entirety. Not that change for the sake of change is good. No, not necessarily. Yet some specific change might generally be good for everybody.

For example, what if vampires, instead of being blood suckers, were fat suckers. Huh-huh. That would be good. Yes. Fat sucking vampires would be practically, totally good. Maybe not entirely, universally good, but a substantial improvement over the normal blood sucking vampire variety .

Like what a great movie could be made out of the interesting idea, fat sucking vampires. You know, the leading lady could be huge. Like immensely fat yet scantily clad. And she could suddenly get attacked by this skinny vampire. But even though this vampire is totally skinny and like famished, there is no way this vampire duda can suck all the fat off this lady. Turns out, our heroine needs multiple vampires to suck off all her fat.

Anon, the original vampire calls up some other vampire friends for help. Three more fat suckers that are friends of the practically exhausted original vampire come to the rescue. That makes four vampires per one fat lady. Those vampires suck and suck. But they can’t suck off all the fat. No way. After awhile they need to go off and take a nap. They have to take a nap and digest some of the fat. Meantime, the fat lady goes off to a feast. Mmm. Ice cream.

Uh. To make the movie even more interesting, the four vampires sucking on the fat lady can be made to seem erotic. So all the participants need to start out with clothes on, but after awhile the vampires strip off the fat lady's scanty attire. Then those vampires remove their own scanty attire or better yet, the fat lady rips the clothes off the vampires. Normally, those vampires wear aprons.

At this point in the film we learn that vampires lack genitalia. Instead, they have like nodules. No hold it. Not nodules. They have like mouths in their groins resembling the proboscis of lampreys. These mouths, located in what would be the groin region of a person, are feeding or fat sucking organs.

Uh. Reproduction in fat sucking vampires is thus external. Therefore, the lascivious writhing of the vampires as they suck at the fat lady is merely coincidental.

At the feast, where the desert is ice cream, pralines and cream with Hershey’s chocolate on top, the fat lady’s friends exclaim, Oh my dear. Just look how skinny you are. How nice you look. However, did you lose all that weight? Goodness!

But that formerly fat lady can’t answer because her mouth is full of ice cream. Mmmmpf! And her palatine bone is froze up.

Well. Crumby can’t tell everyone anymore about the rest of the plot to this extremely interesting and novel movie concept. But it is a four star movie.