These Parts are Forked
This is, if Crumby is not off, the Year of the Julian, 2011. Most of us, even the rotting dead, have made it just over halfway around Ogma again. Did any escape the trip? Maybe! Remember the Rapture may have wafted some away.
Yes. A lucky few may have been chosen. Chosen to go off to Heaven in place of a Jewish Virgin. Er. Crumby has not precisely figured out how that works. But it could be that at the actual time and location a Rapture Event needs to occur, there are no Jewish virgins handy. But somebody needs to get Raptured so in that event a worthy Gentile is shanghaied. But like, Crumby is far less certain about the substitution of a gentile for a Jewish virgin part of the Official Rapture than he is about the importance of tornadoes.
During the Year 2011 of the Julian, the CB has received about 3.5 inches of precipitation. And now, predictably, with no soil moisture, diurnal temperatures hover around 100, daily. Mercy!
Well. One good thing about a dry year is very few baby deer, that some call fawns, get processed. Better yet, none got processed at the CB. So at least the does are not attacking Crumby when he ventures out in the back yard. (Huh-huh. Crumby likes to catch the baby deer. Once he catches them, he likes to put them in cardboard boxes. Huh-huh). Naturally, the does know that Crumby is up to no good, so they attack him.
Yet the vast herds of wild deer need to do something to make up for the necessity of boxed fawns. What do they do? They drink up all the water in the bird bath. Then, if Crumby is not constantly on the alert, the poor little birds of Class Aves get nought.
Achtung dumbkopf! We are in like stage fire engine red alert for “drought” caused wild fires. Everywhere Crumby is fixing to head to, the people cry out, “Crumby are we fixing to experience a fire on our property.” No. Crumby explains. The humidity is too high. You have nought to fear unless you also have teenagers or drunks on your property.
However, getting back to the deer, you must know that during fire engine red droughts, the government only allows the people to fill birdbaths once a week. Furthermore, the birdbaths can only be filled up on a specific night, precisely at midnight. Also, the responsible party that fills up the bird bath has to stand on one leg while hosing the birdbath. Additionally, that same person who is in charge of the birdbath must also cover up the right eye with the right hand while standing on the left leg and vice versa.
Is there sufficient water for all the thirsty? Yes. But the humans are saving it up for flushing. So many shall perish from thirst. But probably not this one, wild deer #30.
Yes. A lucky few may have been chosen. Chosen to go off to Heaven in place of a Jewish Virgin. Er. Crumby has not precisely figured out how that works. But it could be that at the actual time and location a Rapture Event needs to occur, there are no Jewish virgins handy. But somebody needs to get Raptured so in that event a worthy Gentile is shanghaied. But like, Crumby is far less certain about the substitution of a gentile for a Jewish virgin part of the Official Rapture than he is about the importance of tornadoes.
During the Year 2011 of the Julian, the CB has received about 3.5 inches of precipitation. And now, predictably, with no soil moisture, diurnal temperatures hover around 100, daily. Mercy!
Well. One good thing about a dry year is very few baby deer, that some call fawns, get processed. Better yet, none got processed at the CB. So at least the does are not attacking Crumby when he ventures out in the back yard. (Huh-huh. Crumby likes to catch the baby deer. Once he catches them, he likes to put them in cardboard boxes. Huh-huh). Naturally, the does know that Crumby is up to no good, so they attack him.
Yet the vast herds of wild deer need to do something to make up for the necessity of boxed fawns. What do they do? They drink up all the water in the bird bath. Then, if Crumby is not constantly on the alert, the poor little birds of Class Aves get nought.
Achtung dumbkopf! We are in like stage fire engine red alert for “drought” caused wild fires. Everywhere Crumby is fixing to head to, the people cry out, “Crumby are we fixing to experience a fire on our property.” No. Crumby explains. The humidity is too high. You have nought to fear unless you also have teenagers or drunks on your property.
However, getting back to the deer, you must know that during fire engine red droughts, the government only allows the people to fill birdbaths once a week. Furthermore, the birdbaths can only be filled up on a specific night, precisely at midnight. Also, the responsible party that fills up the bird bath has to stand on one leg while hosing the birdbath. Additionally, that same person who is in charge of the birdbath must also cover up the right eye with the right hand while standing on the left leg and vice versa.
Is there sufficient water for all the thirsty? Yes. But the humans are saving it up for flushing. So many shall perish from thirst. But probably not this one, wild deer #30.
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, June 09, 2011
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