Mammalia; Their Various Antics
Crumby is, of course, a mammal. A bicycle riding mammal. Despite riding a bicycle, Crumby is too damn fat. So Crumby decided to ride the bicycle more, to get rid of the fat. Maybe that will work, unless I drink more beer to compensate for the extra exercise. Then I shall have to ride my bike even more, drink more beer, ride more, drink more beer. Mercy! What a rat race!
Anyway. So Crumby rode his bike all the way up Brodie to William Cannon. Then he turned left on to the south William Cannon sidewalk, headed east. Goodness. Crumby soon encountered a monstrous hill. Anon, he was out of the saddle, huffing and puffing. Yet Crumby made it to the top of that merciless hill. Jeez Louise!
At the top of the hill Crumby dismounted because two official bicyclists, resplendent in helmets and outfits were headed west on Crumby's sidewalk and Crumby figured, fer Heaven's sakes, we might collide. But the second official cyclist remarked, What gear is that?
Yes. Alas. Crumby's bike is a unigear bike.
It took Crumby a while to recover from that hill. He had to have a drink of cool clear water and blow for a minute or two. But then he was off again, headed east.
Man alive! Did you know that it's practically entirely down hill from Deeton Hill to Jones Road headed north. An average cyclist like Crumby hardly has to pedal along that route. Just coast. So when Crumby arrived back on his usual routes, he needed to ride more to get in his usual hour ride because the Deeton Hill to Jones Road component had been too easy. So there Crumby was riding alone in Stinky Valley, when suddenly a gray fox raced across tbe street right in front of Crumby. It was toting a hispid cotton rat in its mouth.
Then this morning on the dog walk, early, a raccoon was espied running about in broad daylight. Also, the sunflower seed feeder which got filled up yesterday was entirely empty this morning. Some dang or dern mammal got those seeds. How? Nobody knows yet.
Rats are drinking out of the outside pet water bowl in broad daylight. Goodness! Signs and portents. How evil can these parts wax before the end? Nobody knows.
Anyway. So Crumby rode his bike all the way up Brodie to William Cannon. Then he turned left on to the south William Cannon sidewalk, headed east. Goodness. Crumby soon encountered a monstrous hill. Anon, he was out of the saddle, huffing and puffing. Yet Crumby made it to the top of that merciless hill. Jeez Louise!
At the top of the hill Crumby dismounted because two official bicyclists, resplendent in helmets and outfits were headed west on Crumby's sidewalk and Crumby figured, fer Heaven's sakes, we might collide. But the second official cyclist remarked, What gear is that?
Yes. Alas. Crumby's bike is a unigear bike.
It took Crumby a while to recover from that hill. He had to have a drink of cool clear water and blow for a minute or two. But then he was off again, headed east.
Man alive! Did you know that it's practically entirely down hill from Deeton Hill to Jones Road headed north. An average cyclist like Crumby hardly has to pedal along that route. Just coast. So when Crumby arrived back on his usual routes, he needed to ride more to get in his usual hour ride because the Deeton Hill to Jones Road component had been too easy. So there Crumby was riding alone in Stinky Valley, when suddenly a gray fox raced across tbe street right in front of Crumby. It was toting a hispid cotton rat in its mouth.
Then this morning on the dog walk, early, a raccoon was espied running about in broad daylight. Also, the sunflower seed feeder which got filled up yesterday was entirely empty this morning. Some dang or dern mammal got those seeds. How? Nobody knows yet.
Rats are drinking out of the outside pet water bowl in broad daylight. Goodness! Signs and portents. How evil can these parts wax before the end? Nobody knows.
posted by ray pistrum at Monday, August 15, 2011
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home