Crumby's Telescope Tomfoolery Notes
Whoa! The moon was really bright this morning at 4 AM, putting a damper on the methodology. The moon was at perigree. I need to figure out what perigree is. Er.
Peri generally spells around or flower. What the heck is gree? Hold it! It's spelled perigee, not perigree. So I bet perigee means it's at one slice off the old pie.
No, that can't be right either. Cause the reverse of perigee happens to be apogee. And apogee is the telescopery equipment company that vends those Galileo gravitators. Er! No, that's mixing stuff up. I can't think. I can't think. I can't think.
Hold it. What did Ray think about? Fatter babies! Fatter babies are making it hotter! Yikes! That's not helping. Got to get back on task. I know. I'll look perigree, I mean perigee, up. Such an important term is bound to be in the Golden Skyguide.
Noper. Not there. Time to consult with Ms. Merriam Webster.
Oh Ms. Merriam, what does perigree, I mean perigee, mean, please?
Look it up yourself Crumby.
All righty then. Thanks a lot.
Er. Uh oh, it's not the phase of the moon. It's the distance of the moon from the center of the earth. So the moon at perigree, I mean perigee, is when the moon is closest to the earth during its orbital period. So apogee spells when the moon is furthest away during that same orbital period.
No wonder the moon was so dang bright this morning. It was practically on top of me.
Er. Here's two more spells of the same difference, perihelion and aphelion. They reference the globes position relative to Ogma Sunface. Yepper, one needs to know these spells, spelling astronomically.
Er. Maybe one of the fatter babies will get named Aphelion. That would be a pretty name for a fatter baby. Have another economy pack of Hostess Snowballs, Aphelion, you need to keep your mass up.
_____
Newsflash!!!! Earth's Orbit Altered by Fatter Babies.
Scientists have discovered that the huge number of fatter babies may be altering the earth's orbit around the sun. According to Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, "All these tubby tots have made North America top heavy. As a result, the globe is wobbling and this top heavy in North America induced wobbling has wobbled the planet out of its usual orbit." When asked if we shall all perish as a result of the perilous wobbling, Dr. Pistrum replied, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."
But not to worry, the Kinglet says Jesus told him fatter babies are yet another sign of the second coming. Then, just to be on the safe side, the Kinglet commissioned some lawyers and civil engineers to look into whether the fatter babies are a problem. The report released by the Kinglet's commission concludes, "Fatter babies are indications both of God's Bounty and progress. Fatter babies are good for the economy. The wobble, even if there is a wobble, and there is no conclusive scientific evidence that there is a wobble, can in no way be attributed to all these cute, fatter babies."
And what do the fatter babies think about the controversy? Well, "Goo, goo, slurp, munch." Isn't that cute!
Peri generally spells around or flower. What the heck is gree? Hold it! It's spelled perigee, not perigree. So I bet perigee means it's at one slice off the old pie.
No, that can't be right either. Cause the reverse of perigee happens to be apogee. And apogee is the telescopery equipment company that vends those Galileo gravitators. Er! No, that's mixing stuff up. I can't think. I can't think. I can't think.
Hold it. What did Ray think about? Fatter babies! Fatter babies are making it hotter! Yikes! That's not helping. Got to get back on task. I know. I'll look perigree, I mean perigee, up. Such an important term is bound to be in the Golden Skyguide.
Noper. Not there. Time to consult with Ms. Merriam Webster.
Oh Ms. Merriam, what does perigree, I mean perigee, mean, please?
Look it up yourself Crumby.
All righty then. Thanks a lot.
Er. Uh oh, it's not the phase of the moon. It's the distance of the moon from the center of the earth. So the moon at perigree, I mean perigee, is when the moon is closest to the earth during its orbital period. So apogee spells when the moon is furthest away during that same orbital period.
No wonder the moon was so dang bright this morning. It was practically on top of me.
Er. Here's two more spells of the same difference, perihelion and aphelion. They reference the globes position relative to Ogma Sunface. Yepper, one needs to know these spells, spelling astronomically.
Er. Maybe one of the fatter babies will get named Aphelion. That would be a pretty name for a fatter baby. Have another economy pack of Hostess Snowballs, Aphelion, you need to keep your mass up.
_____
Newsflash!!!! Earth's Orbit Altered by Fatter Babies.
Scientists have discovered that the huge number of fatter babies may be altering the earth's orbit around the sun. According to Dr. Rayetta Pistrum, "All these tubby tots have made North America top heavy. As a result, the globe is wobbling and this top heavy in North America induced wobbling has wobbled the planet out of its usual orbit." When asked if we shall all perish as a result of the perilous wobbling, Dr. Pistrum replied, "That's for me to know, and for you to find out."
But not to worry, the Kinglet says Jesus told him fatter babies are yet another sign of the second coming. Then, just to be on the safe side, the Kinglet commissioned some lawyers and civil engineers to look into whether the fatter babies are a problem. The report released by the Kinglet's commission concludes, "Fatter babies are indications both of God's Bounty and progress. Fatter babies are good for the economy. The wobble, even if there is a wobble, and there is no conclusive scientific evidence that there is a wobble, can in no way be attributed to all these cute, fatter babies."
And what do the fatter babies think about the controversy? Well, "Goo, goo, slurp, munch." Isn't that cute!
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, August 10, 2006
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home