Crumby's Telescope Tomfoolery Notes - A Great Many Subtopics
Subtopic Number One - It
That dang Ray. Look at him over there, guzzling up that cinnamon bun, pampered and petted by his sister and his girlfriends. Plus, as I see below, my bosom companion totally missed out on the actual theme of It Came from Outer Space. What’s the actual theme? Easy that, the actual theme is the forlorn search of the youthful amateur astronomer/scientist for a lady friend that will share his scientific interests and also enjoy sexual intercourse with the youthful amateur astronomer/scientist while, at the same time, keeping herself gainfully employed. That’s the actual theme, all righty then, and that’s why that movie is so dang scary.
The beautiful heroine is a gainfully employed school teacher who is captured by It and held captive in a dismal mine shaft with a bunch of other captives who are all working class guys. There are like maybe six working class guys held captive in the mine shaft with the beautiful heroine. Meantime, the school principal gets pissed off at the beautiful heroine because she didn’t show up at work, or call in, and her little snot nosed scholars are running amok. How scary is that for the for the amateur astronomer/scientist hero? His beautiful girlfriend is all alone in a mine shaft with the horny proletariat all over her, and, she may be fixing to get fired from her job.
Whoa! I got to stop carrying on about this particular subtopic. It’s making me too nervous. Er. Let’s See.
Subtopic Number Two - Naked Physostegia correllii Seeds
Depicted somewhere here is a picture of some of our Physostegia correllii seed crop. The three seeds may be the only pictorial representation of Physostegia correllii seeds available to mere mortals. The reason we got a seed crop is, irrigation.
Subtopic Number Three - The “Drought”
What passes for a daily newspaper in these parts finally put the “drought” on the front page. The article, naturally, fails to mention that rising temperatures in these parts may have some connection to the “drought.” Ha! What ostriches? Soon there will be plenty of sand for head sticking. Watch out for the Wicker Man, Big Bird.
Plus there’s some really funny whining in one of the “drought” articles. Seems like one of the burgs up in Williamson County has used up its well water. Now they want the federal government to build water lines from the lake up to them. They say, if the government can build infrastructure in Iraq, why can’t the government build us a water line. Jeez Louise. Well, first of all, the government can’t actually build infrastructure in Iraq. The government only pays out on no bid contracts and then the contractor puts up virtual infrastructure. And second, you’re almost all Republicans up that way and surely you are getting just what you deserve from the “drought’. In fact, hopefully, you are getting way more of the "drought" benefits than the slightly more innocent rest of us. After all, big government is bad, bad, bad! and land speculation is good, good, good! Right? You can drink piss or spunk water, maybe.
Jeez Louise. I'm still aggravated about this. It's rained way more up in Williamson County than it has south of the dammed river. Those assholes can't put in enough new developments and golf courses up that way. Course we can't put in enough here, either.
Subtopic Number Four, That’s Four, for the Crumby Ovate - A Cloudy Morning
Early the twain of us, both Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, and me, Crumby the Ovate, arose from slumber upon the Ample Bosoms. Out we journeyed into the stygian darkness with only a dog or two for company. Alas, not a celestial body could we espy, high or low, due to the prevailing cloudiness.
“Hark Crumby” allowed Lleu Llaw, “let us return to the Ample Bosoms.”
“All righty then, you go on back to the Ample Bosoms, Lleu Llaw, but I’m too nervous to go on back to the Ample Bosoms. I shall await upon Ogma who shall shed some light on some chores I need to perform and take my mind off It, maybe.”
That dang Ray. Look at him over there, guzzling up that cinnamon bun, pampered and petted by his sister and his girlfriends. Plus, as I see below, my bosom companion totally missed out on the actual theme of It Came from Outer Space. What’s the actual theme? Easy that, the actual theme is the forlorn search of the youthful amateur astronomer/scientist for a lady friend that will share his scientific interests and also enjoy sexual intercourse with the youthful amateur astronomer/scientist while, at the same time, keeping herself gainfully employed. That’s the actual theme, all righty then, and that’s why that movie is so dang scary.
The beautiful heroine is a gainfully employed school teacher who is captured by It and held captive in a dismal mine shaft with a bunch of other captives who are all working class guys. There are like maybe six working class guys held captive in the mine shaft with the beautiful heroine. Meantime, the school principal gets pissed off at the beautiful heroine because she didn’t show up at work, or call in, and her little snot nosed scholars are running amok. How scary is that for the for the amateur astronomer/scientist hero? His beautiful girlfriend is all alone in a mine shaft with the horny proletariat all over her, and, she may be fixing to get fired from her job.
Whoa! I got to stop carrying on about this particular subtopic. It’s making me too nervous. Er. Let’s See.
Subtopic Number Two - Naked Physostegia correllii Seeds
Depicted somewhere here is a picture of some of our Physostegia correllii seed crop. The three seeds may be the only pictorial representation of Physostegia correllii seeds available to mere mortals. The reason we got a seed crop is, irrigation. Subtopic Number Three - The “Drought”
What passes for a daily newspaper in these parts finally put the “drought” on the front page. The article, naturally, fails to mention that rising temperatures in these parts may have some connection to the “drought.” Ha! What ostriches? Soon there will be plenty of sand for head sticking. Watch out for the Wicker Man, Big Bird.
Plus there’s some really funny whining in one of the “drought” articles. Seems like one of the burgs up in Williamson County has used up its well water. Now they want the federal government to build water lines from the lake up to them. They say, if the government can build infrastructure in Iraq, why can’t the government build us a water line. Jeez Louise. Well, first of all, the government can’t actually build infrastructure in Iraq. The government only pays out on no bid contracts and then the contractor puts up virtual infrastructure. And second, you’re almost all Republicans up that way and surely you are getting just what you deserve from the “drought’. In fact, hopefully, you are getting way more of the "drought" benefits than the slightly more innocent rest of us. After all, big government is bad, bad, bad! and land speculation is good, good, good! Right? You can drink piss or spunk water, maybe.
Jeez Louise. I'm still aggravated about this. It's rained way more up in Williamson County than it has south of the dammed river. Those assholes can't put in enough new developments and golf courses up that way. Course we can't put in enough here, either.
Subtopic Number Four, That’s Four, for the Crumby Ovate - A Cloudy Morning
Early the twain of us, both Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, and me, Crumby the Ovate, arose from slumber upon the Ample Bosoms. Out we journeyed into the stygian darkness with only a dog or two for company. Alas, not a celestial body could we espy, high or low, due to the prevailing cloudiness.
“Hark Crumby” allowed Lleu Llaw, “let us return to the Ample Bosoms.”
“All righty then, you go on back to the Ample Bosoms, Lleu Llaw, but I’m too nervous to go on back to the Ample Bosoms. I shall await upon Ogma who shall shed some light on some chores I need to perform and take my mind off It, maybe.”
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, September 02, 2006
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