Crumby's Telescope Tomfoolery Notes - Lleu Llaw Makes a Hand

Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand has, thanks to the maggots, recovered from his accidental gunshot wound and is all set to assist Crumby with Telescope Tomfoolery. The casual intellectual may wish to know how we pronounce Lleu Llaw’s name. All righty then. The twain ll’s are both slightly aspirated. The eu is like eye. The aw is like ow. The ff is like the v in guv, guvner. There now, that’s better. All righty then, Lleu Llaw, you’re all set to head out to the east pasture and help Crumby. Remember, on your journey to the east pasture, holler out loudly, “I am Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand and I have come this way to assist Crumby with the Telescope Tomfoolery.” Can you remember to do that, Lleu Llaw?

Yepper, Rayetta.

Good. That’s swell Lleu Llaw, because if you don’t remember to holler all that, Crumby may accidentally shoot you again. Now run along. I’m busy.
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Lleu Llaw heads out into the forbidding stygian darkness of the east pasture, hollering at the top of his lungs, the very spell that he was coincidentally instructed to holler out by the Lovely Druidess Rayetta.
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What’s all that dang hollerin’? Er. Oh, it’s Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, headed this way. A welcome before ye, Lleu Llaw.

Thanks Crumby. What are we up to?

All righty then, what we are fixing to do is test your steady hand out on some celestial bodies I wish to espy. Are ye up to it?

Yepper. Many have remarked on the steady hand of Lleu Llaw Guffes, that it is remarkably steady and never shakes the least bit.

Excellent. Now here’s what you need to do. Er, lay your steady hand upon that large red tube while I espy through this attached peephole.

All righty then, Crumby.

Whoa! Lleu Llaw that celestial body I am espying in the peephole appears flabbergastingly frozen in time and space.

I told you Crumby, I am the Lion of the Steady Hand.

Yepper, you are greatly steady handed all righty then, Lleu Llaw. Er. Now we need to teach you how to guide the tube from one celestial body to the next. Hold it, I need to think a minute. Er................., all righty then, when I holler up, Lleu Llaw, you move the tube down and when I holler gee, you move the tube haw. You got all that?

Yepper, I, Lleu Llaw Guffes, the Lion of the Steady Hand, shall follow the directions of the Crumby Ovate, unperturbed by perturbations.

All righty then, Lleu Llaw. Here we go then, in expeditious pursuit of Pizza’s Flying Star.