Crumby in the Wilderness

Snuffle. Here I am, all alone, partially concealed in the Rhus lanceolata shrubbery. The environmental conditions out here in the wilderness are so various and fleeting that I have not kept up, and now, my sensory apparati are malfunctioning. Yepper, my ears have failed me. So I can't smell or hear either. Mercy! Goddess strike me down. Hark! Who's that off on the horizon?

Crumby! Where the heck are you?

It's the Lovely Druidess Rayetta. What?

There you are. That's better. Now listen up. The space aliens are fixing to ferry a miserable Iraqi to our street corner. The miserable Iraqi will be armed with a ray gun and see through goggles. Since you're ensconced out here in the wilderness anyway, you need to monitor the street corner for the miserable Iraqi. When it shows up, you can shoot it or arrest it, whichever. Do you understand all that?

What?

So Crumby, do you think I have the time, with my busy schedule, to repeat all that?

What?

Crumby you're really pissing me off. I shall give you a good shaking for all the trouble your inattention and wool gathering are causing me.

What?

The exasperated Druidess gives Crumby a good shaking.

Why are you shaking me, Rayetta? I didn't do nothin'.

But the shaking has the good effect of shaking some of the snot loose in Crumby's noggin so that his hearing is momentarily restored.

That's right Crumby you didn't do nothin', like pay attention when you're supposed to pay attention.

Why are ye hollerin' at me, Rayetta?

So then the Lovely Druidess eventually discovered that Crumby was deaf and that her shaking of Crumby had temporarily restored his hearing. Thus Rayetta had to repeat herself. Very annoying. But the Lovely Druidess also had pity on the almost senseless ovate.

Crumby, here's some gum. It's magic gum and it may keep the snot from clogging up your ears. Bye.

Bye, Lovely Druidess Rayetta.