Rootin’ Tootin’ Putin Vs. Smirky, Shirky Kinglet

Now let’s get ready to rumble? Goodness gracious sakes alive. Just when I figured I was off the Kinglet beat due to lack of interest, here comes R.T. Putin. So the DNS sends me, Hope Remains, Ace Reporter, off to Maine to cover the donnybrook.

OK. An all expenses paid trip to Maine is a pretty sweet deal during Beelzebubberiffic, Republic of Tejas style. Except, they put me up in this crumby bed and breakfast. I have to share a comfort station with Cameraperson Lomo. Gracious sakes!

However, all that aside, an Ace Reporter like me needs to feel like her job is slightly relevant. So, on the off chance that these twain leaders of their respective subsets of the white race, business class, take questions from the press, I shall have a few questions ready for those twain.

On the other hand, perhaps I should focus on Rooter Tooter, exclusively. I might get a straight answer out of the Kinglet’s good friend, Putin. Yep. That’s the ticket. Why waste any more time on the Kinglet? Let’s see. My word. Let’s see. I’ll swan. Let’s see. Whatever shall I ask Mr. Putin? What shall be my slightly relevant query?

Hmmm. What the heck? This is pretty hard work thinking up slightly relevant questions. I know. I’ll brainstorm a few potential questions and sleep on them. Then perhaps the WG shall pick one or two of the best ones for me as I sleep, all cosy. Yep. That’s the ticket, all righty then.


Potential Questions for Mr. Putin

Mr. Putin, I notice that you are shorter than the Kinglet. How do you feel about that?

Mr. Putin, which do you like best, beets or turnips? (Ray wants me to ask that one).

Mr. Putin, are you a goddessless atheist, and if not, which goddesses or gods do you appeal to and vice versa?

Mr. Putin, who is your personal favorite Menshevik?

Mr. Putin, some friends of mine back in the Republic of Tejas were wondering if you are a trading card collector. Like for example, in Russia do Russians collect trading cards, like maybe card sets of historic Mensheviks and Bolsheviks or Czars or chess players or lady tumblers. How about boxers? They were wondering if you collect those cards and if there is anything like that in Russia. And if not, they were also wondering if they could maybe market some cards like that in Russia and if you think there would be a market. How about a Leon Trotsky action figure?

Mr. Putin, the Kinglet says you are his good friend. Do you surmise that friendship only applies because you are a booster of state capitalism, a polite term for fascism, or is there some other reason?

Mr. Putin, is the state ever going to wither away, and if so, what will have to take place before it withers?

Or, Mr. Putin, is there fixing to be one big global capitalist state, and if so, how will you Slavs fit in?

Yawn! Gracious sakes alive. Those are all pretty relevant. Snore.