Crumby on the Xmas Mountains

So far as I can remember, I have never been to the Xmas Mountains Property. Nor have I done any research pertinent to that particular parcel. So this spell, spelling of the Xmas Mountains is purely ovational.

Clearly, with the Xmas Semi-Montane Property spat, we see the ruling class at odds over the future of the planet. Some of the rulers like to save certain properties or parcels until someone, at some future date, figures out what that property or parcel is good for. Believe it or not, some properties or parcels of land, even in the Republic of Tejas, fall into the category, good for nothing. Good for nothing in the good old days, meant that parcel was too troublesome by nature for cropping or grazing. Now, those properties are still no good for cropping or even grazing. Probably, those properties have been grazed for a hundred years anyway, and now they are seriously no good for grazing. Yet those properties or parcels are also so aesthetically ornery, remote, and water free, that improvements are considered unlikely to eventually pay for themselves.

Enter Land Commissioner (LC) Jerry Patterson. Our plump LC may venture out on the ROT public land every once in a while. Because, oddly enough, the LC is supposed to sometimes keep track of oil and gas production on the public land, maybe, so the LC gets to go visit public federal land plus the scanty and diminishing ROT public land. These parks and such are plenty dangerous places here in the wild ROT. Here now, I shall just list some of the mighty scary stuff our LC might run into on one of his inspection tours. Uh. Rattlesnakes, chiggers, pigs, peccaries, turkeys, possums, bears and lions (unlikely) illegal aliens (potentially armed, maybe), deranged property owners (probably armed) occurring adjacent to or even wandering freely on the public land.

There now, those are all the items that have almost got me during my many adventures on all those lands, so those are what are likely to get the LC, too. Yepper, even I the Crumby Ovate, in my former capacities as rig hand and environmental consultant, encountered all those terrors and survived, so I know what our LC is up against.

So I can easily understand why our LC goes armed into those dangerous plus scary spots. Yet I wonder, does he go, alone. Unlikely that. Noper, our rotund LC visits the hot LZs with plenty of protection. I suspect, for a comparison, one might envision Senator McCain at the Baghdad market. Yet, unlike Senator McCain at the Baghdad market, our LC packs, personally.

Boy howdy, I would sure like to be hiding out in the brush with the peccaries, when our LC, together with his Land Office entourage and associates alights or maybe rolls up to a well pad. Then, if somebody would loan me a camera, I could secretly take pictures of the assembled assault team. Ha! Then I could id what they are all packing.

Mercy! Once I was faunching around on this workover rig. The roustabouts were singing, Crack that Whip! I got so distracted I helped lose a bunch of shaped charges. Mercy! I sure hope those shaped charges are still safely buried in the mud at that particular site.

Whoa! I have distracted myself. Apparently the disposition of the Xmas Mountains turns on gun control. One bunch of rulers wants gun control in the Xmas Mountains. The other bunch of rulers, ably represented by our LC, wants a free fire zone. Gracious Sakes! If I was a chigger, habitating in the Xmas Mountains, I would be plenty scared. Our LC may organize a chigger hunt.