Magnus is Attacked by Ancient Romans, Part 7
Hi there Rosalind. My name is Magnus. I was not expecting to be greeted by such a pretty and efficient young lady. What’s a nice young lady like you doing in Child Molester Village? Were you kidnapped?
No. I was never kidnapped. My parents moved here to Child Molester Village, I mean Hamletville, when I was little. They sharecrop and do odd jobs for the bourgeoisie. Nothing illegal mind you, just the odd bit of work that may not be too damaging to their honest worker natures. They have to work for the bourgeoisie, and me too occasionally, just so we can make ends meet.
You do? Say, I bet those bourgeoisie are the very ones that molested me while I was trying to work out by the Dolmen. Do they molest you too, Rosalind?
Why yes they do, Magnus. Just a little while ago the vewy City Managew molested me. Those bouwgeoisie awe vewy bad people.
He did. What did he do?
He made me sign tewwible documents. Now I have to pay a poll tax. Whewevew shall I get the money to pay the poll tax?
Fret not fair Rosalind. Twrch and me are fixing to make some changes in these parts. Say Rosalind, you ought to climb up my rope with me so you can help me an Twrch interpret your important documents. Plus you need to be properly introduced to the mighty Twrch Trwyth.
All wighty.
Then the twain of them, both Magnus and the fair Rosalind climbed up Magnus’s rope all the way to the tip top of Twrch Trwyth’s noggin.
Goodness gwacious, Twwch Twwyth, you cewtainly awe a tewwific pig.
Why thank you Rosalind. I am the globe’s largest pig as a matter of fact.
Goodness gwacious. I have nevew been this high. Magnus, howevew, do you climb up and down that wope. I bet you climb up and down that wope many times a day. It must be vewy tiwesome. Whew!
Yes it is tiresome. But Twrch makes me do it for the exercise. Right Twrch.
Correct Magnus. Rope climbing is good exercise. Besides, each time you rise to great heights, climbing your rope, Bran’s prophecy is fulfilled. And if you rise on your own merit, the prophecy or ovation is that much more fulfilled. Then too, some day you may appreciate the ape like physique all that climbing has afforded you.
Now though, I am a hungry pig. What do y’all say to a picnic?
Count me in.
Me too.
Off the tripartite of them went to have a picnic. Having Rosalind along proved entirely beneficial. For Rosalind knew where the bourgeoisie of those parts cached all their most choice victuals. Anon, Twrch Trwyth, Rosalind and Magnus enjoyed a delicious picnic. No picnic was ever better than that particular picnic for delicious foodstuffs and libations. But once the picnic was ended, and everyone had a nice nap, the threesome adventurers got down to business.
OK boys, that field over there belongs to the City Manager. It is full of nice peanuts. But wumow has it, that the City Managew mixes sawdust and glass in his peanut butter. So it is OK to eat all his peanuts befowe he wuins them for omnivowous consumption.
Hmmm. Rosalind, you know a lot about these parts. I might have accidentally eaten up the peanut factory instead of the peanuts. You ought to throw in with me and Magnus. Thus, I would be less likely to eat any glass or sawdust and Magnus would have a partner besides me that actually knows something.
All wighty then. I should like to wowk with you, Mighty Twwch Twyth, plus the famous pig wider, Magnus.
So, a deal was struck. Rosalind entered into a partnership with Magnus to exploit the bourgeoisie of Hamletville. Twrch Trwyth agreed, time allowing, to settle all disputes and complaints potentially arising from the bourgeoisie. Thus, the poor proletarians of Hamletville were fixing to be delivered, child laborer pestering was fixing to be eventually outlawed, and a new age was fixing to dawn for Hamletville.
_____
Oh all righty. Maybe not most of those rs.
Cwumby
No. I was never kidnapped. My parents moved here to Child Molester Village, I mean Hamletville, when I was little. They sharecrop and do odd jobs for the bourgeoisie. Nothing illegal mind you, just the odd bit of work that may not be too damaging to their honest worker natures. They have to work for the bourgeoisie, and me too occasionally, just so we can make ends meet.
You do? Say, I bet those bourgeoisie are the very ones that molested me while I was trying to work out by the Dolmen. Do they molest you too, Rosalind?
Why yes they do, Magnus. Just a little while ago the vewy City Managew molested me. Those bouwgeoisie awe vewy bad people.
He did. What did he do?
He made me sign tewwible documents. Now I have to pay a poll tax. Whewevew shall I get the money to pay the poll tax?
Fret not fair Rosalind. Twrch and me are fixing to make some changes in these parts. Say Rosalind, you ought to climb up my rope with me so you can help me an Twrch interpret your important documents. Plus you need to be properly introduced to the mighty Twrch Trwyth.
All wighty.
Then the twain of them, both Magnus and the fair Rosalind climbed up Magnus’s rope all the way to the tip top of Twrch Trwyth’s noggin.
Goodness gwacious, Twwch Twwyth, you cewtainly awe a tewwific pig.
Why thank you Rosalind. I am the globe’s largest pig as a matter of fact.
Goodness gwacious. I have nevew been this high. Magnus, howevew, do you climb up and down that wope. I bet you climb up and down that wope many times a day. It must be vewy tiwesome. Whew!
Yes it is tiresome. But Twrch makes me do it for the exercise. Right Twrch.
Correct Magnus. Rope climbing is good exercise. Besides, each time you rise to great heights, climbing your rope, Bran’s prophecy is fulfilled. And if you rise on your own merit, the prophecy or ovation is that much more fulfilled. Then too, some day you may appreciate the ape like physique all that climbing has afforded you.
Now though, I am a hungry pig. What do y’all say to a picnic?
Count me in.
Me too.
Off the tripartite of them went to have a picnic. Having Rosalind along proved entirely beneficial. For Rosalind knew where the bourgeoisie of those parts cached all their most choice victuals. Anon, Twrch Trwyth, Rosalind and Magnus enjoyed a delicious picnic. No picnic was ever better than that particular picnic for delicious foodstuffs and libations. But once the picnic was ended, and everyone had a nice nap, the threesome adventurers got down to business.
OK boys, that field over there belongs to the City Manager. It is full of nice peanuts. But wumow has it, that the City Managew mixes sawdust and glass in his peanut butter. So it is OK to eat all his peanuts befowe he wuins them for omnivowous consumption.
Hmmm. Rosalind, you know a lot about these parts. I might have accidentally eaten up the peanut factory instead of the peanuts. You ought to throw in with me and Magnus. Thus, I would be less likely to eat any glass or sawdust and Magnus would have a partner besides me that actually knows something.
All wighty then. I should like to wowk with you, Mighty Twwch Twyth, plus the famous pig wider, Magnus.
So, a deal was struck. Rosalind entered into a partnership with Magnus to exploit the bourgeoisie of Hamletville. Twrch Trwyth agreed, time allowing, to settle all disputes and complaints potentially arising from the bourgeoisie. Thus, the poor proletarians of Hamletville were fixing to be delivered, child laborer pestering was fixing to be eventually outlawed, and a new age was fixing to dawn for Hamletville.
_____
Oh all righty. Maybe not most of those rs.
Cwumby
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, April 20, 2008
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