Retard Republic

Yes. Here we all are, regular people and retards alike. In the Republic of Tejas (ROT), retards outnumber regular people 2 -1. But that’s only in Travis County. Elsewhere, the retards occur at a much higher rate. Like in some counties, the retards fetch in close to 100%. Actually, in some of those counties where the retards make up close to 100% of the population, the actual percentage may be more like 110%. That’s because some of the retards are so retarded they need to count twice.

How does the ruling class keep all the retards entertained? Easy that, the retards, via the Media Conservative are regaled with Lake Levels and Allergy Reports. That’s right. The Lake Levels never change. The Allergy Reports feature “Mountain Cedar” pollen.

One might obviously wonder, maybe, How these parts might go months without precipitation, yet the Lake Levels remain changeless. One might obviously wonder, What is Mountain Cedar?

Needless to say, the questions never get asked. That’s because everyone knows the Lake Levels and the Allergy Reports are designed to entertain the retards. And everyone also knows, that oscillating Lake Levels might freak out the retards. It is way better to keep the Lake Levels at the same constant altitude so the retards won’t freak out. As to Mountain Cedar, well, Mountain Cedar may be a code that only retards can understand.