At Least I Tried

Yes. Out I went. Mercy! By 5 AM I was all set up, facing Spica and Corvus. Yet the Moon beamed behind, big time, distracting me. Plus, I kept accidently breathing on all the optical devices.

I fussed and fussed. The Lomos knobs were stiff from the cold. The dern Rigel did not want to cooperate with its calibration. Man! This is the most trouble I have ever had ever with my Rigel, Crumby thought. I couldn’t see Corvus without my spectacles. The nasal fumes emanating from my pollen mask fogged my spectacles up. If I took off the pollen mask my nose hurt from the cold air surging into those twain tortured trills. If I took off my spectacles, I could not see the stars. Either way, the Moon blinded me.

I fussed and fussed. Finally, I may have gotten B230 centered in my trusty yet goofy 40mm plossl. But every time I tried to look around for M68, the optics steamed up. And the dern Moon was like unto a spotlight on me. That particular Moon was overbearing. That Moon was wearing me out. Pretty soon the abject hopelessness of the situation became apparent. No. I shall not espy even M68 this morning. This situation is too miserable.

Yes. The situation was too miserable. So I gave up. Yes. I am a quitter. A dang quitter.

Now my dern nose is totally stopped up. Well not totally. The right trill is doing a little better than the left trill. That left trill is plugged like a dry hole. Waaaaaaaaaaah!

OK. I need to calm down. I need to think positively just like an average Americano dumbass enrolled in a ropes course might think positively. Let’s see. Duh!

OK Crumby. At least you were man enough to be out in the frigid, stygian, wilderness with one of the closest, brightest Moons ever practically rubbing you with its craggy craters. Yes. You were outside, trying to at least do something. Yes. You were out there, working hard at average amateur astronomy, trying to set a good example for all the miserable Americanos tucked into their nice warm beds, dreaming about their personal relationships with the Demon Mammon.

Later.

Ha! I am way better. Has anyone ever played the game, Boogers that look like animal crackers? I have now personally played that interesting game. Here’s how that game is played.

The boogers that look like animal crackers are in your trills. But it is against the rules to blow or sneeze those boogers out. You have to wait until one of those boogers oozes down a ways due to the Force of Gravity that Druids worship as the Great Hermaphroditic Lord or Lordette of Gravity, Upup the Mighty. Then, once it oozes down a bit, you reach in with a Q-Tip. If you are lucky, that booger may stick to the Q-Tip. Ha. Once it sticks you can haul it out, wriggling and bleating.

Turns out, I used this methodology to extract two huge boogers, one from each trill. What animal crackers did they look like? Easy that, they looked like nudibranch animal crackers.

Now I can breathe way better. So there is hope. Hope for the future.

See how positive thinking plus inspired action based on rational thought can help. Actually, the positive thinking is bullshit. But the inspired action based on rational thought or maybe epiphany can help.

All righty then. When may I actually espy some more of those naked celestial objects in the eastern sky? Hmm. Dern. That morning is still Christmas of DY 3. Same as last time I checked. Yikes! On that upcoming Christmas morning, the Moon shall be in Scorpius. What does that celestial event, portend? Ooooooooo!