Either a Meteor or a Plastic Bag
No wonder I didn’t get to see the alleged fiery object that eventually fell on to private property somewhere here in the ROT and shall never be seen again until it turns up on EBAY, maybe. That object fell or floated along in broad daylight, spooking dozens and getting on TV. So, no wonder an average nocturnal person like me missed the fun. I was taking a nap.
Hold it! I need to phone Karl the Tracker Druid. Hold it! I’m getting Karl’s answering machine message. It says, Hello, this is the orifice of Karl the Tracker Druid. I am presently on an important tracking job. Leave a message at the tone. Or, if you need assistance about the fiery meteor or plastic bag recently sighted falling or gliding over parts of the ROT, press 1 to autodial Mr. Crumby Ovate.
Hey! No, no, no! I don’t want Karl’s dopey customers fixing to call me up about the meteor or fiery plastic bag. Dang! I know. I shall fix up a special message on my personal answering machine, a message designed specifically for just such a crisis.
Hello. This is Crumby. But I am in a coma. However, you may be able to reach me after sundown on my cell phone tonight if you have that number. You may be calling about the fiery meteor or fiery plastic bag. That particular meteor or plastic bag is a sure sign of your personal doom. You are fixing to rot in Hell for eternity. Have a nice day.
Why a plastic bag, Crumby? What sort of plastic bag, Crumby? These are typical of the annoying questions that may get asked by the ignorant relative to ephemeral astronomical phenomena.
Plastic bags have an extremely high surface to volume ratio. That means, plastic bags are prone to being blown by the wind all the way up into the stratosphere or maybe into low orbit. Then, like many larger objects in similar situations, those plastic bags reflect sunlight and starlight, thereby, potentially spooking dozens. The particular plastic bag sighted last Sunday and featured on TV is probably one of those large plastic bags like the one a dry cleaner put over my suit once upon a time. The fact is, it could be that very same bag since the bag that came on my dry cleaned suit actually blew away sometime during the late 90s. That bag could be the very one that finally descended from Heaven, Sunday morning.
Hold it! I need to phone Karl the Tracker Druid. Hold it! I’m getting Karl’s answering machine message. It says, Hello, this is the orifice of Karl the Tracker Druid. I am presently on an important tracking job. Leave a message at the tone. Or, if you need assistance about the fiery meteor or plastic bag recently sighted falling or gliding over parts of the ROT, press 1 to autodial Mr. Crumby Ovate.
Hey! No, no, no! I don’t want Karl’s dopey customers fixing to call me up about the meteor or fiery plastic bag. Dang! I know. I shall fix up a special message on my personal answering machine, a message designed specifically for just such a crisis.
Hello. This is Crumby. But I am in a coma. However, you may be able to reach me after sundown on my cell phone tonight if you have that number. You may be calling about the fiery meteor or fiery plastic bag. That particular meteor or plastic bag is a sure sign of your personal doom. You are fixing to rot in Hell for eternity. Have a nice day.
Why a plastic bag, Crumby? What sort of plastic bag, Crumby? These are typical of the annoying questions that may get asked by the ignorant relative to ephemeral astronomical phenomena.
Plastic bags have an extremely high surface to volume ratio. That means, plastic bags are prone to being blown by the wind all the way up into the stratosphere or maybe into low orbit. Then, like many larger objects in similar situations, those plastic bags reflect sunlight and starlight, thereby, potentially spooking dozens. The particular plastic bag sighted last Sunday and featured on TV is probably one of those large plastic bags like the one a dry cleaner put over my suit once upon a time. The fact is, it could be that very same bag since the bag that came on my dry cleaned suit actually blew away sometime during the late 90s. That bag could be the very one that finally descended from Heaven, Sunday morning.
posted by ray pistrum at Tuesday, February 17, 2009
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