Madonna Needs to Adopt Old People

Like for example, Madonna could adopt me. I need help worse than some dern Malawite baby, for Goddess Sake! Plus, I am still fairly cute and almost entirely helpless just like an infant.

Yet seriously, these rich personalities ought to consider adopting old people instead of children or mere babies. In particular they need to focus on the old people that are pretty much failures and have nobody to take care of them. Yes. Those old people are miserable failures but still potentially adorable on a good day. Plus, there are plenty of old people that need adopting right here in the US. That’s right. There is a big surplus of miserable old people needing the kind of love only somebody like Madonna could provide. There may be some old people of that description right here in my own humble neighborhood or house.

Just imagine! Madonna pulls up to the Cow Barn in her limousine. There is a knock on the door. The door opens. Madonna says, Is the old person, Crumby Ovate here? I have come to adopt Crumby. I shall take Crumby away from all this suffering. Crumby shall have a new life and bright future with his adoptive mother, me, Madonna.

Then after Madonna adopted me, that would start a trend among the rich and famous celebrities. They would all adopt old people and just about all the domestic problems everyone has ever thought of, would happily dissolve or disappear.