Serious Rain in the Republic of Tejas Capitol
Praise the Merciful WG. Praise Upup the Magnificent. Yes that same Upup who allows rain to fall down instsead of up. Praise Tiny Rain Goddess and all the other deities we Druids worship, have worshiped, or may worship in some future nonce. Serious rain has fallen on the miserable Cow Barn at last. This serious rain has been two years coming. Mercy has come to the CB at last. Good Goddess!
Only a few have ever heard of Tiny Rain Goddess. That’s because I just invented Tiny Rain Goddess this morning. You may see that invention works like this. I see a need for a tiny rain goddess. So I make up a tiny rain goddess and I call Her, Tiny Rain Goddess (TRG). Were I to anthropomorphize TRG, She would appear to mere mortals like maybe a hybrid of the Morton Salt Girl and Tinker Bell.
There you go. TRG is responsible for the tiny amounts of rain that infrequently fall in deserts. Then, once everybody is totally exhausted by actual, serious thirstiness or low humidity nervousness, TRG allows a deluge to drench everyone, lathing all the thirsty throats, ducts or orifices at last in cool water, sometimes mixed with Bourbon.
Maybe you don’t believe in TRG. Maybe you believe instead, that you are one of God’s chosen people. Why would you believe that, but not believe in Tiny Rain Goddess? Are those concepts or beliefs mutually exclusive? Course not. Course they aren’t. You could easily believe in both. Yet sadly, many believe they are one of God’s chosen, while only I believe in TRG. But like many, many, many chances are, that could change.
According to the Bible, King James version, the Jews are God’s chosen people. Yet I can see how any person of wealth and privilege might, considering circumstances, assume, I am the pick of the litter. I won the blue ribbon. I’m number one. I am, the chosen-uh, of-uh, God-uh, Almighty-uh! Or is it chosen-ah? Whichever.
OK. I can easily see all or espy, all. Yes-ah. Hallelujah-ah. Hallelujah-uh. Gee whillickers. Were you born to privilege? Were you born to wealth? Were you born with a big-ah, thing-ah or two? If so. Yepper-ah. You have been chosen-uh, by God-uh to represent-ah, the glory-uh, of God-ah, incarnate-ah yowsa boss, on the Planet-ah, Earth-uh. Wooly-boop-boop-boop!
OK. A rational, rich and privileged person might easily assume that all the riches and privileges enjoyed came from God. That’s because, for sure, they never came from work. Well, maybe buying cotton. But that’s it. No other work except maybe buying cotton or real estate. So where else could the wealth and privilege come from, other than cotton, real estate or God? Where else? It has to be like either super natural or sub normal.
You may know, fetching up as God’s chosen has not worked out so swell for a bunch of the Jews. So maybe it is time to pass that mantle on to the Secesh of the Americano Southland. Let the Secesh suffer the travails God has inflicted upon the chosen ones. Let the Secesh don the sackcloth and ashes of the miserable Jews. Let the Secesh like-uh be dispersed to friendly foreign horizons including Paraquay. Yes-ah. Lots of the Secesh would need to get dispersed to Paraquay or maybe Antarctica. That’s right. Antarctica already has plenty of AC. Plus the AC in Antarctica is free. But that could change. You know? Global warming caused by something besides people-uh could screw up the free air conditioning. Yet maybe, free AC would last a long time in Antarctica if Antarctica was occupied by God’s chosen ones, instead of Penguins.
Only a few have ever heard of Tiny Rain Goddess. That’s because I just invented Tiny Rain Goddess this morning. You may see that invention works like this. I see a need for a tiny rain goddess. So I make up a tiny rain goddess and I call Her, Tiny Rain Goddess (TRG). Were I to anthropomorphize TRG, She would appear to mere mortals like maybe a hybrid of the Morton Salt Girl and Tinker Bell.
There you go. TRG is responsible for the tiny amounts of rain that infrequently fall in deserts. Then, once everybody is totally exhausted by actual, serious thirstiness or low humidity nervousness, TRG allows a deluge to drench everyone, lathing all the thirsty throats, ducts or orifices at last in cool water, sometimes mixed with Bourbon.
Maybe you don’t believe in TRG. Maybe you believe instead, that you are one of God’s chosen people. Why would you believe that, but not believe in Tiny Rain Goddess? Are those concepts or beliefs mutually exclusive? Course not. Course they aren’t. You could easily believe in both. Yet sadly, many believe they are one of God’s chosen, while only I believe in TRG. But like many, many, many chances are, that could change.
According to the Bible, King James version, the Jews are God’s chosen people. Yet I can see how any person of wealth and privilege might, considering circumstances, assume, I am the pick of the litter. I won the blue ribbon. I’m number one. I am, the chosen-uh, of-uh, God-uh, Almighty-uh! Or is it chosen-ah? Whichever.
OK. I can easily see all or espy, all. Yes-ah. Hallelujah-ah. Hallelujah-uh. Gee whillickers. Were you born to privilege? Were you born to wealth? Were you born with a big-ah, thing-ah or two? If so. Yepper-ah. You have been chosen-uh, by God-uh to represent-ah, the glory-uh, of God-ah, incarnate-ah yowsa boss, on the Planet-ah, Earth-uh. Wooly-boop-boop-boop!
OK. A rational, rich and privileged person might easily assume that all the riches and privileges enjoyed came from God. That’s because, for sure, they never came from work. Well, maybe buying cotton. But that’s it. No other work except maybe buying cotton or real estate. So where else could the wealth and privilege come from, other than cotton, real estate or God? Where else? It has to be like either super natural or sub normal.
You may know, fetching up as God’s chosen has not worked out so swell for a bunch of the Jews. So maybe it is time to pass that mantle on to the Secesh of the Americano Southland. Let the Secesh suffer the travails God has inflicted upon the chosen ones. Let the Secesh don the sackcloth and ashes of the miserable Jews. Let the Secesh like-uh be dispersed to friendly foreign horizons including Paraquay. Yes-ah. Lots of the Secesh would need to get dispersed to Paraquay or maybe Antarctica. That’s right. Antarctica already has plenty of AC. Plus the AC in Antarctica is free. But that could change. You know? Global warming caused by something besides people-uh could screw up the free air conditioning. Yet maybe, free AC would last a long time in Antarctica if Antarctica was occupied by God’s chosen ones, instead of Penguins.
posted by ray pistrum at Saturday, September 12, 2009
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