The Fat Sucker Vampire Goes to Work

Many have requested some visual stimulation depicting the vampire fat sucker in action. Well. Reluctantly Crumby has produced an artist’s conception of how that appears in real life. Please note that this artist’s conception is nowhere near as lurid as the upcoming cinematic release, I WERE A TEJAS TEA PARTY FAT SUCKER. Nowhere near. Instead, Crumby shows the fat sucker not as some handsome Hollywood movie star or starlet, but as the simple Echinoderm like creature it really is, except for the cowboy hat. The fat lady, however, Crumby still shows as beautiful. That's because sometimes you have to mix the beauty of art with science in order to hold people's attention.

The upcoming movie, on the other hand, makes it seem like a sexual relationship is possible between a fat sucker and people. But that’s just to sell tickets and would never happen in real life. No. The symbiotic relationship between people and fat suckers, despite appearances, is totally Platonic.