Ray's Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen 2-9

Hmmm. Well now. I see that you have returned, Hope. For I do espy your lovely little face and your pretty smile and those big innocent eyes. But let me see now, you have queried directly so I shall answer,directly. Where is the great vehicle? Easy that: Perhaps it recently sped off, with the ever alert Lomo at the wheel, and all our gear stowed safely inside. And then there’s, Why is Crumby throwing a temper tantrum? Easy that: I can only imagine why Crumby is throwing a temper tantrum. But perhaps Crumby’s temper tantrum is somehow related to the status of the great vehicle, attended by the ever alert Lomo, and securely locked, so that Crumby found that Crumby could not dispose himself into the great vehicle upon Crumby’s return from Crumby’s botanical emergency. And then too, the fire ants may enter in. But you, Hope, wouldn’t know anything about all that, would you, Hope sweetie?

Noper. Shouldn’t you do something about Crumby, Lovely Druidess Rayetta?

No, Hope. I shouldn’t. Crumby will wear himself out, anon. Also, anon, I shall see about someone’s inexhaustible One of These prescription.

Boo-hoo-hoo. It’s not my fault Rayetta. Boo-hoo-hoo.

Yes Hope, it is, your fault. Now stop bawling. I have to think. Stop it this minute.

Snuffle.

Stop it......... That’s better.

So while Hope sat on the back slope and pouted and Crumby raged about the highway right-of-way smiting exotic fauna and flora, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta, thought. But anon, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta gave up on thought and meditated. And to meditate efficaciously, the LDR covered up one lovely eye with one shapely hand and the other lovely eye grew big as a lovely saucer. And the LDR hooked one pretty foot behind the other shapely leg and posed thus for a spell. But then after awhile she switched all that over relying on bilateral symmetry to accomplish all that and posed the other way. And then after awhile the LDR switched back again. And at last the Crumby Ovate wore himself out. But Hope continued to pout. But still, posed the Lovely Druidess Rayetta on the other pretty foot..

Ever, Ogma the Fickle Sunface has abandoned the Druidry at night. So Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes had the lights on as she drove expeditiously along in the customized bread delivery truck that plied the hinterlands in search of suckers, I mean customers, that required Nancy’s jokes to cheer them up. Beside Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes, sat Sugar Plum, and Sweetie Pie was riding shotgun. Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie are little Tabby Labbers, Druidess trainees that is, orphans in fact, (just like Rayetta and Ray had once been orphans), that Nancy clasped to her ample bosoms to both rear and train up at the Joke Factory. Both Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie showed great promise and both were intently scanning the right-of way as they chattered happily together and at Nancy.

Dang, it sure is dark out yonder, Sweetie Pie. It sure be that, Sugar Plum, dark. I reckon the moon’ll be up anon though Sugar Plum and then we can see out better. That’s right Sweetie Pie, I also figure the moon'll be up anon. Nancy. Me, Sugar Plum together with Sweetie Pie here, riding shotgun here, both figure the moon’ll be up anon, reckon. Say, wudn’t that Aint Rayetta posed back yonder on the side of the road, Sweetie Pie. Yepper, it sure did appear to be Aint Rayetta posed back yonder, Sugar Plum.

Then the customized bread delivery truck with Nancy the Goddess of Practical Jokes at the wheel undertook a mighty U-turn that was ever after considered the greatest of the three greatest U-turns ever espied in those parts. Anon, the bread truck fetched up in the vicinity of the Lovely Druidess Rayetta. And Rayetta was embarked upon the greatest of the three greatest meditative poses ever espied in those parts. So this event was fairly historic and,in the course of time, the Texas Historical Commission would put up a marker commemorating these twain greatest evers.

Need a lift, Rayetta honey? hollered out Nancy.

Yep, I do. hollered back the Lovely Druidess Rayetta.

Ye Rayetta and ye Hope may sit up front with me. While Crumby may sit in back with Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie. Where’s the monkey?

Ahem. No. Hope the Poutie Mouthed shall also sit in the back with Crumby, Sweetie Pie and Sugar Plum. And Lomo is sped off, so Lomo doesn’t need a ride.

All righty then. Everyone get on in and rearranged. I’ll bet ye are wore out, and hungry and thirsty and aggravated. But we can fix all that up at the Joke Factory.

So they all got on in and rearranged just as Nancy, as amended by Rayetta, foretold. And the Lovely Druidess Rayetta and Hope Remains and the Crumby Ovate all anticipated getting all fixed up at the Joke Factory, maybe.

Off they went.

So where’s Ray? Sugar Plum wanted to know and so did Sweetie Pie. So where’s Lomo? Sweetie Pie wanted to know and likewise Sugarplum. Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie had many questions. But with Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie, questions were a rhetorical exercise. Because as part of their training, they made up answers regardless, predicated by, “Easy that.” For example, when Hope burst into tears in response to the most proximal question above, referencing Ray, Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie responded rhetorically. Easy that, Sweetie Pie. I hear tell Ray run off with a moon goddess. Yep, that be whut I heard too Sugar Plum. And ye know whut else I heard frum old Nelson? No whut? Nelson says once a boy gets some moon goddess he don’t ever go back. He did? Reckon whut Nelson meant by that? Dang! Does that mean Ray aint never comin back? I reckon it must. Dang!

Boo-hoo-hoo, boo-hoo-hoo.

But the Crumby Ovate, worn out by his long temper tantrum, and unable to endure any more suffering, and blessed by the Goddess for some obscure purpose, conked out. Then Crumby dreamed about ants. All the little ants had tiny Lomo heads. But some of the ants also had tiny Ray heads. Perhaps the ones with Ray heads were about as many as the ones with Lomo heads, or even a few more. Then there were also some ants with Bill the Practical Nurse heads. At any rate, Crumby was aggravated by all those ants for some reason. So in his dream, Crumby smote the dream ants just as Crumby smote all those other ants. Only of course, the Ray and Lomo and Practical Nurse Bill ants cried out and begged for mercy which pleased Crumby even more than the smiting. But then all the little Ray ants merged into one big Ray ant, and that particular Ray ant rose into the heavens where it skipped about mocking Crumby. Anon though, Crumby awoke to a good shaking as if the bread truck was doing a roll over, but it was only Nancy making a hard left on to the grounds of the Joke Factory.

Yay! We’re home. Squealed Sugar Plum and Sweetie Pie. Wake up Crumby. We’re here, Crumby. And indeed they were.