Ray's Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen Part 2-6

Goodness gracious! Rayetta! Crumby! Apparently you are not used to One of These and all those One of These has greatly diminished your normal skills and abilities. And poor Lomo has conked out. But I, Hope Remains, have not forgotten that it is my wayward boyfriend Ray that we seek, and that Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes is to aid and abet us upon our quest to recover Ray. Rayetta, have you forgotten that Ray is your only brother, maybe? And Crumby, have you forgotten that Ray is your bosom companion and Sedge Buster for Goddess’ Sake. What about Sedge Buster?
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Crumby, is that a Spiranthes over there on the backslope?

Where?

Over there on the backslope on top, where that cow has its head stuck in the fence.

Yikes! It may be Rayetta. We better go check it out.

Yepper. We better. That may be an evil cow.
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But what about Ray?

Hope cried out futilely, too late. Rayetta and Crumby both espied the makings of a potential botanical emergency that they were fixing to deal with. Rayetta and Crumby were focused in, all righty then, on extricating themselves from the great vehicle so they could climb up the back slope and determine if a potentially evil cow was fixing to eat up a potential Spiranthes orchid and nothing or nobody on this globe or any other globe anywhere, ever, would deter the Lovely Druidess Rayetta and the Crumby Ovate from that destiny. They departed.

Goodness, oh my goodness. Lomo. Wake up Lomo. Lomo, please wake up. Lo-mo.

Hope was desperate to rouse Lomo because botanical expeditions generally take awhile and Hope could not bear the thought of Ray off in the clutches of that Olwen person, moon goddess. So Hope surmised that if she could but rouse the slumbering Lomo, the aroused Lomo could be prevailed upon to drive off, leaving Crumby and Rayetta to their botanical expedition. Then Hope saw herself rescuing Ray from that moon goddess person, and returning to the CB, with Ray at her side, all adoring and worshipful on account of his rescue. Then once they were safe, back at the CB, Hope would call the Department of Public Safety, or maybe the Game Wardens, and report Crumby and Rayetta missing. Hope, you may see, renders any scenario possible.

However, first Hope had to rouse Lomo, and hollering at Lomo and poking him wasn’t getting the job done. So Hope decided if she could somehow drag Lomo off the driver’s seat and put him somewhere else, she could drive off in the big vehicle and rescue Ray by herself. So Hope climbed over into the front seat and began to lift and tug on the inert Lomo so that she could raise him into an upright position, unbuckle his seat belt and push Lomo out the door. But Hope couldn’t get a good grip on Lomo because Crumby’s bandana had fallen out of Lomo’s mouth and Lomo had drool all over his head and shoulders. Slick drool.

“Yuck! Lomo’s all icky. And he’s heavy too. Oh my goodness, whatever shall I do now.”

Hope was determined though and Hope had hope. So she pulled out her magic utility knife and sawed through the harness that retained Lomo and kept Lomo in compliance with RGVECB and state mandated safety regulations. Then Hope climbed down out of the great vehicle, shut her passenger side door and went around to Lomo’s side. This time Hope saw herself reluctantly grabbing onto Lomo’s belt loop in the vicinity of the distal reaches of Lomo’s butt crack and hauling his big lala right on out the door. But lo and behold, Lomo’s door was locked.

“Goodness gracious sakes alive. Why’s this door locked? Goodness. Well then, I’ll just march around to my door and get back in and open Lomo’s door from the inside.”

Anon though, Hope learned that her door was locked too and even all the other doors also including the back door to the cargo area, were all locked. And the keys were, of course, in the ignition because that’s where they were when the great vehicle ebbed momentum to this safe spot and stopped. And keys don’t go off on their own, usually.

“Swell. This is so hunky-dory.” commented Hope, resorting to irony.

Hope then espied a fire ant (Solenopsis invicta) mound so she kicked that and watched the ants for awhile. Then Hope sat on the rear bumper for awhile. Then Hope pounded on the driver side window for awhile and hollered at Lomo. Then Hope sat on the front bumper for awhile and as she sat on the front bumper, after awhile, she espied Crumby and Rayetta off in the distance.

“Great.” Hope resorted to irony. Then Hope pounded on the window and hollered at Lomo some more. Then Hope lost hope and went off to a clump of bushes up on the backslope to perform an ablution. “Great.” Then her ablution completed, Hope envisioned herself taking a little nap, curled up under the bushes, and at last, Hope’s hope came true.

Eventually, the Lovely Druidess Rayetta and the Crumby Ovate, ascertained to their mutual satisfactions, a rare occurrence indeed, that the Spiranthes was not potential and neither was the cow, evil. On the other hand, additional botanical emergencies could be lurking in these parts so Crumby and Rayetta decided to check those other potential ones out too. But anon, Ogma began to fail them, because Ogma Sunface has ever been a fickle friend to the Druidry. And Crumby foretold, “I caint see a dern thang Rayetta. We better get on back to the great vehicle.” And Rayetta commented, “Yes Crumby, we should for I intuit that somewhat may be amiss at the great vehicle.” And then Crumby ovated for a minute and much alarm came to Crumby and Crumby increased his pace to a good pace and Rayetta, perceiving that Crumby was urgent, kept pace.

Lo the twain of them arrived at the great vehicle and Rayetta tried the front door and Crumby tried the back door but the doors were locked. So Crumby and Rayetta pounded on the windows and hollered at Lomo, the Sound Sleeper. Then Crumby and Rayetta noted that Hope was gone.

“Hope is gone” exclaimed Rayetta.

“Dang it. I’ll break the dang window. Where’s me a good sized rock?” exclaimed Crumby, the man of action, his rage about to come upon him. “Dang it. Where’d these fire ants come from?” exclaimed Crumby also, his rage seriously coming upon him.

And Rayetta exclaimed, “Where’s my cell phone?” But the cell phone was on the front seat next to the head of the slumbering Lomo all beset with drool. “Hope has abandoned us.” sighed Rayetta.

But just when Crumby had got most of the fire ants out of his pants and was launching himself at the great vehicle and also bearing a great rock to smite upon the rear window of the vehicle, Lomo at last awoke from his nap because Lomo dreamed he was drowning and Lomo sat bolt upright in his driver’s side seat within the great vehicle. “Look Crumby, Lomo has roused himself” hollered Rayetta. But too late to save the rear window, for Crumby smote the rear window so that it shattered asunder or actually just bowed in and cracked stem to stern. “Take that ye dang window” cried out Crumby triumphantly. But then perceiving that he might need to hit the window yet another lick, Crumby cast about to retrieve the big rock he had bounced off the window. Crumby thought to finish the window off with the big rock and put the window out of its misery.

“Lomo under attack” hollered out Lomo, logically. Lomo started the great vehicle up and drove off expeditiously to rescue Ray. But not before Crumby got in a second lick and busted the rear window clean out. “Ha! Ye dang window!” yelled Crumby furiously at the departing great vehicle.

But Lomo sped off. Gradually, as Lomo drove, drove, drove, a troubling thought came to Lomo.

“Lovely Druidess Rayetta be aggravated with Lomo. Lomo not stop in safe spot.”

Crumby busted that dang window out all alrighty then but his rage was still upon Crumby and Crumby was hoppin’ mad so Crumby afflicted the fire ants much like the fire ants had lately afflicted Crumby and Crumby smote hundreds of the fire ants and as Crumby smote the fire ants he taunted the fire ants “Bite me will ye, ye little pismire lalas, la-la, la-la, la-la, etc.”

But Rayetta began work on a mental list, both to enumerate the various facets of the current situation and to comfort herself. Rayetta, even in the worst of situations found comfort in the certitude of a good list. So Rayetta began to enumerate out loud, the facets, and each facet Rayetta assigned to one of the digits of her shapely left hand. And Rayetta tapped each of the digits, in its turn, on her left hand with all the fingers and the thumb of her shapely right hand, each time she applied a facet, for emphasis.

Let’s see, thumb - the gear is gone. Tap.

Let’s see, pointer finger - the great vehicle is gone. Tap.

Let’s see, fool finger - Lomo is gone. Tap.

Let’s see leech finger - Crumby is gone, berserk. Tap.

Let’s see ear finger - Hope is gone. Tap.
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No, I’m not, Rayetta. I’m right here. Where’s the great vehicle? Why’s Crumby throwing a tantrum?
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