Ray's Thought for the Day - Ray and Olwen Part 2-5

But the questing party, disembarked from the Cow Barn to rescue Ray, was making good progress, and the quartet, which had first begun as a trio, now added the fine bass-baritone of Lomo (Rayetta relented and Lomo got a handful of One of These, too) and the quartet roared along and the great vehicle rocked to the rhythm of “Yer gonna look like a monkey when ye grow old.”*

Off the Druids went, lickety-split to rescue Ray in full four part harmony. “They go wild simply wild over me, I’m referin’ to the bed bugs and the fleas, oh they murmur in my sleep and disturb my slumber deep, they go wild simply wild over me” and “Here come Peter Cottontail, hoppin’ down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity easter on its wa-ay”. But anon, the fine bass-baritone lapsed from the chorus and the mighty momentum of the great vehicle ebbed and the great vehicle rolled to a full stop eventually at a safe spot. Then, following a rousing rendition of “Please don’t fersake me oh my Goddess”, but before “Swine Wranglers in the Sky”, Lomo spelled,

Lovely Druidess Rayetta, Lomo don’t know where he’s going.

What?

Lovely Druidess Rayetta, Lomo, don’t know where he’s going.

Hmmmm. Hope, Crumby, do either of you know where we’re going?

To rescue Ray! The twain of them, both Hope and Crumby, chorused up helpfully.

All righty then. But which way is Ray? Hmmm. I know. Crumby, you’re the Junior Ovate of the CB. And it is the job of an Ovate to foresee. Right. So all you have to do, Crumby, is foresee where we are going.

Er. All righty then. I’ll need to concentrate fer a minute.

La-de, la-de, hmmm. La-de-da. Okie Dokie Crumby, your minute’s up.

Er. I ferget. Are we going after Ray, er Nancy?

That’s a good question Crumby. Let’s see, there’s Ray to consider, but also something about Nancy. Hmmm.

Goodness gracious sakes alive, Rayetta, we’re going after Ray. Crumby, find Ray. A moon goddess has captured Ray. Boo-hoo-hoo.

There, there Hope. Yer just havin’ a bad trip. But please don’t cry so. Fer a lady’s tears much compromise my ovatin’ skills. Perhaps ye better have another One of These. And get me two.

All righty then Crumby, snuffle. If you foresee that one or two of One of These, might help. Here you go...... Rayetta, do you want another One of These?

Hmmm. Perhaps. Let me just get turned around here anon. There. That’s better. Yes, I see the one I want. I want that little blue one, Hope.

Here you go, Rayetta. Lomo, do you want some more One of These? Lomo. Lomo. Lo-mo.

Hmmm. Lomo appears to be conked out, Hope. So Lomo doesn’t get any. Hope sweetie, can you reach the tissues?

Goodness gracious, I don’t see any tissues. Crumby do you see any tissues anywhere?

Er. Let me concentrate. Yepper. Yepper. Yepper. It’s coming to me now. Yepper. Lomo fergot to pack the tissues.

That’s very funny Crumby. But Lomo has flopped over on the seat up here and he’s drooling. So I need some tissues. But since someone forgot to pack the tissues, there aren’t any tissues. So now I need a bandana. But I can’t reach Lomo’s bandana without fooling around in his nether regions. And I’m not going to use my bandana. And I’m sure Hope feels the same way about her bandana. So now I require your bandana, Crumby.

Whut do ye want my bandana fer, Rayetta?

Crumby, I am a lady much in distress that requires a bandana to relieve her distress. So toss me your bandana.

Well, why didn’t ye say that in the first place, Rayetta?

Crumby!

Er, all righty then. Here ‘tis.

Good. Now I can just stuff this in Lomo’s mouth. There, that’s better. Gross. Anyway, Crumby have you foreseen anything yet?

About whut, Rayetta?
_____

The cuddle doves or cuddle bunnies or whatever, Ray and Olwen, meantime, had weathered their twain first lovers’ fuss. So, naturally, they enjoyed post first fuss sexual intercourse in the back seat of the Crown Vic. (You know yourself, maybe, how good post first fuss sexual intercourse can supposedly be). But Ray and Olwen had lots to do if they were going to get Ray’s retinue to clean up Upyeraholes‘ Chamber and vicinity on B-665 down in the sphincter-like business end of the Castle of Justice as Olwen planned. Off they went in the back seat of the Crown Vic and then to a drive in restaurant that featured, car hops. Both of them, Ray and Olwen that is, had worked up great appetites. (Oatmeal and pancakes are delicious, but those particular food items don’t stick to your ribs, long). Ray ordered a family pack for himself and a large strawberry malt and a side order of rings. Olwen ordered that too, except she got a large chocolate malt and a side salad. Ummm. Everything was delicious.

Once Olwen and Ray slaked their great appetites for that nonce, and slurped up the last of the malts, Olwen began to discourse on her plan at Ray.

Ray sugar, could ye cease eye-ballin’ the car hops and pay attention to me, fer the nonce.

I wasn’t eye-ballin’ the car hops Olwen honey sweetie. I was just observin’ how hard they all work and how pretty and efficient they all are, sugar lamb.

Even so, Ray. Ye need to pay attention to me, Ray. Now Ray. Look at me, Ray.

Olwen helped Ray look at her by grabbing his right ear which stuck out handily, then his left ear, which also stuck out handily, and by then giving Ray an involuntary rubber neck in her direction.

There. That’s better.

Goodness Olwen. I have never seen ye looking lovelier. Perhaps we could hop in....

No Ray. We shall discuss my plan now.

But Ray stared vapidly at Olwen and rubbed his ears.

The plan to clean up the castle so we can see if daddy is still alive, Ray, so that ye can settle up with daddy if he is sill kickin’, Ray, do ye remember that plan, Ray, or perhaps ye would like now to clean up the place yerself as ye promised, boo-hoo-hoo.

There, there Olwen. Don’t cry. I’ll pay attention. Lookee here Olwen. I’m all ears. And Ray gave his sore ears a mighty wiggle to show that he was paying attention.

All righty then, Ray. Now here’s whut we shall do. Do ye still have that walkie-talkie?

Yepper. It’s in the trunk.

Good. So here’s what we shall do.

And Olwen White Track laid out her plan for getting the place cleaned up. Ray said it all sounded reasonable to him and Ray all righty then-ed in all the right places so that Olwen was at last convinced that Ray was paying attention and would remember enough of the plan to carry through with Ray’s parts in the plan, once the plan was put into action. Anon, the reasonably well-satisfied, Olwen, with Ray in tow, fixed to depart on Olwen’s nightly rounds and Ray waved goodbye to the pretty and efficient car hops and got a smart pinch for that. Later and eventually the weary cuddle doves or cuddle bunnies or whatever, alit back at their little room and their little bed at the tourist court where the twain of them slept peacefully upon the Bosom of the Goddess as Ogma spread a fired up dawn. But not before they enjoyed sexual intercourse.