Red Takes Over, fer awhile
There they all go at last. Great Goddess. Maybe I can get some peace fer a spell. I can watch all the TV news I want. And guzzle up all the Dolmens I want. And holler at the TV as much as I want. And get drunk. And holler at the demons on the TV. Raymone, get yer sissy French lala in here fer....... Hold it. The Arkdruid must be takin’ a break er somethin’. Shitfire and firefucker, fer sure, I can cuss all I want too. Raymone, get yer sissy French ass in here pronto, and no, see yer pay, neither.
Que'st cous sez, monsieur Rouge?
Huh? Anyhow. Show me how to load this gizmo up. I got to perform the chores fer the bunch that’s run off, fer the nonce. Then I can get drunk and holler at the demons in peace.
Oui, monsieur Rouge.
There now. There it be somewheres. That’s Sisyrhinchium pruinosum in case ye don’t know it er don’t recognize it. Blue-eyed grass some of the ignorant and vulgar, may name it. There’s lots of it here at the Cow Barn these days. Fer Crumby stole some a while back and we have been growin’ those originals up, and encouragin’ them to fornicate, and they have fornicated some, but nothin’ like to compare with Ray, by all accounts.
All righty then. Whut other shitfire and firefucker fersaken chores have I got? Here’s one Hope left me. “Goodness gracious Red. You know what I forgot, because I have been so worried about Ray, off in the clutches of that Olwen person? I forgot that we require a new calendar month. So please Red. Cover for me and come up with a new calendar month so it will be all ready when I return with Ray.
Hur-rumpff. So ye fergot, did ye. Well now, ye nasty little busybody goody two-shoes know-it-all optimist. Ye never fergot to monitor Red’s TV watchin’ did ye. Nosirree. Ye’d monitor away. Then ye’d snivel at me, Red, it’s time to go to bed now. Red ye only get that one Dolmen, now. Red, stop that hollerin’ now. Hu-rumpff. All righty then, I’ll think up a tree, fer ye mebbe. Right after I get drunk and holler at the demons on TV, mebbe.
Dern! Here be another un. Whut’s this un want. Uh, oh. It be frum Nancy.
_____
Mr. Red Ears
Proprietor and Senior Ovate
Red’s Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn (RGVECB)
Dearest Red,
The Lovely Druidess Rayetta (LDR) has communicated to me, Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes (GPJ), that Ray has run off with a moon goddess. I was very surprised to hear such news, considering both Ray and the relatively high standards of moon goddesses. But Rayetta is a credible source. So I have agreed to assist Rayetta with sorting out the antics of the run-a-way fornicator, Ray. Rayetta also informed me that Hope Remains shall be in the company, questing for Ray, and that the company would also include the idiot, Crumby Ovate, and, if I remember correctly, also a monkey.
The departure of this fractional component of the RGVECB would leave you under-monitored, Red. And we can’t have that. So I have dispatched Nurse Bill over to look after you. Nurse Bill should be arriving at the Cow Barn, anon.
Yours Truly,
Nancy
_____
Yikes! Triplicate firefuckers and stick my dick in the electric fan! Raymone! Bar the doors and keep quiet. Nobody’s home.
Monsieur Rouge. Oh! Monsieur Rouge. You have a visitor.
Que'st cous sez, monsieur Rouge?
Huh? Anyhow. Show me how to load this gizmo up. I got to perform the chores fer the bunch that’s run off, fer the nonce. Then I can get drunk and holler at the demons in peace.
Oui, monsieur Rouge.
There now. There it be somewheres. That’s Sisyrhinchium pruinosum in case ye don’t know it er don’t recognize it. Blue-eyed grass some of the ignorant and vulgar, may name it. There’s lots of it here at the Cow Barn these days. Fer Crumby stole some a while back and we have been growin’ those originals up, and encouragin’ them to fornicate, and they have fornicated some, but nothin’ like to compare with Ray, by all accounts.All righty then. Whut other shitfire and firefucker fersaken chores have I got? Here’s one Hope left me. “Goodness gracious Red. You know what I forgot, because I have been so worried about Ray, off in the clutches of that Olwen person? I forgot that we require a new calendar month. So please Red. Cover for me and come up with a new calendar month so it will be all ready when I return with Ray.
Hur-rumpff. So ye fergot, did ye. Well now, ye nasty little busybody goody two-shoes know-it-all optimist. Ye never fergot to monitor Red’s TV watchin’ did ye. Nosirree. Ye’d monitor away. Then ye’d snivel at me, Red, it’s time to go to bed now. Red ye only get that one Dolmen, now. Red, stop that hollerin’ now. Hu-rumpff. All righty then, I’ll think up a tree, fer ye mebbe. Right after I get drunk and holler at the demons on TV, mebbe.
Dern! Here be another un. Whut’s this un want. Uh, oh. It be frum Nancy.
_____
Mr. Red Ears
Proprietor and Senior Ovate
Red’s Good Vs. Evil Cow Barn (RGVECB)
Dearest Red,
The Lovely Druidess Rayetta (LDR) has communicated to me, Nancy, the Goddess of Practical Jokes (GPJ), that Ray has run off with a moon goddess. I was very surprised to hear such news, considering both Ray and the relatively high standards of moon goddesses. But Rayetta is a credible source. So I have agreed to assist Rayetta with sorting out the antics of the run-a-way fornicator, Ray. Rayetta also informed me that Hope Remains shall be in the company, questing for Ray, and that the company would also include the idiot, Crumby Ovate, and, if I remember correctly, also a monkey.
The departure of this fractional component of the RGVECB would leave you under-monitored, Red. And we can’t have that. So I have dispatched Nurse Bill over to look after you. Nurse Bill should be arriving at the Cow Barn, anon.
Yours Truly,
Nancy
_____
Yikes! Triplicate firefuckers and stick my dick in the electric fan! Raymone! Bar the doors and keep quiet. Nobody’s home.
Monsieur Rouge. Oh! Monsieur Rouge. You have a visitor.
posted by ray pistrum at Thursday, April 13, 2006
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