Ray's Thought for the Day - Counting Sheep, Ray's Dream, Interpreted

Yep. At long last, after much toting about of the telescopery gear, and after Crumby ate up all the apricot fried pies, my dream got interpreted by the Ovate. Here’s how that went.

Mmmm. Those fried pies are delicious. Those particular fried pies are the best ever. The dough is just right. Not too crispy and not too sweet. Plus, the apricots are actually identifiable as apricots, not merely slime, and those apricots combine a tartness and sweetness that is delectable, a temptress of the tongue, virtually. Tell me about your dream, my bosom companion.

It was terrible, Crumby, terrible. I was in charge of all these sheep. But all those sheep were unconstrained by any fences and they kept running off every which away. Plus, in my dream I had to keep careful enumeration of the sheep. I had to count them constantly to keep track of all of them even with some of them galloping off this way and some galloping that way. “What’s wrong with all these crazy galloping sheep?” That’s what I cried out in my sleepy despair. “I shall never succeed in keeping up with all these sheep so that I know how many I am shepherding.”

Then I, Ray, discerned why my sheep were so excited. The Teletubbies were spooking my sheep. That was precisely the situation. The Teletubbies were chasing my sheep hither and yon, making it impossible for me, Ray, to keep tabs on the many sheep. “You Teletubbies cease chasing my sheep around. Stop it.” I cried out. But the Teletubbies only chased the sheep even more and then the Teletubbies, first one and then another of the Teletubbies, each caught a sheep, and, and, and. No Crumby I can’t go on.

You must Ray. You must go on. Be brave Ray. Tell your bosom companion what the Teletubbies did with the sheep they captured.

All righty then, Crumby. But you will be shocked! Just as I was, shocked! I tried to rush over to where the closest Teletubby was fondling one of my sheep. My feet shuffled along expeditiously enough and I was gesticulating like a windmill and hollering as loud as I might holler, but with all that effort, I made no progress whatever towards the most proximate Teletubby-sheep combo. In short, I was rooted to the spot, and nothing I did, mattered. All I could do was, witness.

Mercy! What did you witness, Ray? Tell your bosom companion what you witnessed!

Polymorphous intraspecific sex acts, Crumby.

Which ones Ray?

All of them, maybe.

Mercy!

Can you describe some of these acts, Ray?

Ray’s description of the polymorphous intraspecific sex acts involving the Teletubbies and Ray’s ovines is censored. Employ the limits of imagination.

The Arkdruid

Mercy Ray!

Yes, Mercy! Crumby. Mercy is what I cried out in my helpless, sleepy despair as the Teletubbies and my sheep disported themselves graphically out in the endless confines of the vast fenceless pasture. Suddenly though, my ears were verily assaulted by a profound, “Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa!” This particular baa was the loudest and most profound you can imagine Crumby. Lo and behold here came an enormous ram. His fleece was the color of purest gold and he was bow-legged in his distal portions.

Bow-legged eh, Ray.

Yepper, bow-legged out of necessity, Crumby. Anyway, up came this golden, distally bow-legged ram right on up to where I was rooted on the spot. And it says, “Ray, you are a bad shepherd.”

“Yepper, maybe I am, Mr. Talking Ram. But I am apparently rooted to this spot, bush like, and therefore can not be held accountable for the scandalous behavior going on out in the pasture.”

“All righty then, Ray. Since you are a bad shepherd and bush like, I, Aries the Golden Ram, shall sort those Teletubbies out.”

“Er, if you don’t mind, get a count on my sheep, too, Mr. Aries, sir.”

So then Aries the Ram sorted out the four Teletubbies from the sheep and had his way with those Teletubbbies, especially the lavender Teletubby. Mercy!

Did Aries the Ram enumerate the sheep, fer ye, Ray.

Noper. Once he finished up on the last Teletubby, he ambled on off, more bow-legged than ever.

Hmmm. I see Ray. Let me interpret your dream in silence for a minute or two. Er. Er. Er. Er. All righty. The main significance of your dream Ray, is the number four. That number, four, is the numerical code for me, the Crumby Ovate, so that’s why you hastened out to the east pasture to consult with me, Crumby the Ovate, about your dream.

Well then Crumby, go ahead on and interpret my dream, fer me.

I already did Ray. Weren’t you paying attention?

Uh, aren’t you supposed to tell me what the dream means?

Oh! That part. Yepper, I suppose I may be supposed to tell you all that. All righty then. Ray, you have been made nervous and high strung by your hard lessons at the Sun God Academy. You need to explain to your thrice lovely tutors that they are over working you so much that you have become nervous and apprehensive, that you can’t rest, even upon the Ample Bosoms, and that you need a break from all the hard lessons that are making you a nervous wreck.

Yeah, right Crumby. My sister is going to fall for that. Right! And you still haven’t told me what my dream means, either.

Yes I have Ray. You just weren’t listening.

Yes I was, too. But what about all those sheep, and the Teletubbies and Aries the bow-legged ram. What do they mean? And also the fact that I was rooted to a spot. How about that?

Ray, my bosom companion, I should spare you those horrible details that you, alas, dreamed upon.

No, no, no, Crumby. I want to know about those horrible details, especially.

Are you sure about that, Ray?

Yepper.

But as Ray answers up affirmatively, he feels a shiver run up or down his spine.

The Arkdruid

Whoa! Maybe I don’t want to know all those precise details right now Crumby. Maybe I can figure them out on my own, anon.

That is as I foretold, Ray. For you have sought out the Crumby Ovate. And it is said that those who seek out the Crumby Ovate, may get an ovation, or maybe not.