A Prodigal Pocket Knife

Notice the spell is, A Prodigal Pocket Knife, not, The Prodigal Pocket Knife. That’s because many of my pocket knives are astray in the wilderness. But this one has returned, unto me. Here’s how it returned.

Yesterday, I went out a seed collecting. Anon, I possessed a handful of ripe passion flower fruits of a kind that I want to grow into nice big plants at the CB. Excitedly, I embarked, fruits in hand, upon the long, arduous, dangerous, scary, trip home. Many perils there were on that trip. Multitudes of evil doers lay in ambush fer me along that terrible, dusty trail. Yet, my ovational skills scattered those evil doers away from the trail my weary feet and bad leg trod. Eventually, after a lot of trouble, I got home with my fruits.

This time, I shall put all these fruits in a three gallon. That way I shall be certain to remember where I put them. But then I noticed that the three gallon I had espied, for to contain my fruits, lacked dirt.

Come on Lulu. We need to dig up some dirt out of the south compost pile for this 3 gallon. You need to watch out. Keep those dern rats from attacking me.

Off we headed out on the perilous trip to the treacherous environs of the south compost pile.

Pretty soon, with Lulu on the look out for all those hoards of rats that sometimes get after me in those parts, I had the dern bucket full of the desired dirt. Then, lo and behold, as I cast my vision downward onto the dirt that was still situated amongst the vast pile of dirt that is the south compost pile, I espied one of my pocket knives that verily stampeded off into the wilderness who knows how long ago. It was pretty long ago.

Whoa! A prodigal pocket knife has returned unto me, I exclaimed happily. But soon my joy foundered. Hunkered down on my twain crippled knees, one of those knees, seized up on me. Also the prodigal pocket knife was seized up. Help me up, Lulu. Help me up.

After my trusty dog got me on my feet again, I began a careful examination of my returned prodigal pocket knife. It was seized up, all righty then. Even the toothpick was seized up.

We shall soon see about this stray, Lulu. I shall soon have it spruced up, good as new, almost, maybe. Now lets get out of here before those rats attack us. Don’t forget the 3 gallon, Lulu.

The best way to spruce up a returned, prodigal pocket knife is to give it an oil bath. Handily, I have plenty of oil left over from when the two cycle lawn mower worked. Handily, I also have left over, molded plastic containers that various gizmos arrived at the CB in. Taking one of those molded plastic containers and filling it with oil, I soon had my prodigal pocket knife entirely immersed.

Ye are baptized my son, not in mere water, but in expensive, left over, two-stroke enigne oil, in the name of the Holy Goat, the Holy Cow, and the Holy Pig. That spell did the trick, almost. Once I got most of the oil off my prodigal pocket knife, the various utensils contained in and about the pocket knife were less seized up. Utilizing considerable man power, and pliers, I was just able to get every one of those utensils cranked free or open. Surprisingly, the tweezers were easy.

Then, laying my hand upon a Q-Tip, I employed that Q-tip to slather heat proof plumber’s grease into every nook and cranny, even those nooks where the sun don’t shine, of that returned prodigal.

Ha! At last I have a pocket knife again. I shall take a picture of my spruced up returned son, or pocket knife. Dern it. No camera. Ray, can you take my returned prodigal pocket knife’s picture, fer me, with Rayetta’s and yer camera.

Thanks Ray. I owe you one.

Many may wonder why, I, the Crumby Ovate, have gone maybe a year without a pocket knife. Easy that, I took a vow, after the last pocket knife ran off, that I should never get another pocket knife because they always run off. No, I ovated, I shall await the return of a prodigal pocket knife. Some day a prodigal shall return, unto me.

Now that great day has arrived, yesterday. Praise the Goddess!!!! See. You may yet espy the heat proof plumber’s grease. Or, that may be some left over dirt.