Black Friday?
Praise the WG! I survived Thanksgiving and a C- Thanksgiving dinner. Mercy! Some prankster poured pickle juice in the green bean casserole. Mercy! That pickle juice kept my Thanksgiving dinner from achieving a C+. Mercy!
As everyone with a lick of sense knows, Thanksgiving may be the most reasonable of all the religious holidays celebrated in the Americanoland Homeland. That may be because the Mammonite rulers of Americanoland have never figured out how to totally capitalize Thanksgiving. What’s more, the Mammonite Christian numbskull devotees of the Mammonite rulers have never figured out a way to exclude the pagan elements from Thanksgiving, thanks be to the pagan Injun participation in the original iteration of the holiday. Praise the WG with great praise!
So to make up for Thanksgiving actually being worth a shit as a religious holiday, the Mammonites invented Black Friday. Yes. After a day of semi-reflection and gratitude or mere gluttony, the Mammonites need to go shopping. Yes. The reflective need to get over the scare they may have given themselves and the gluttons need to walk it off. Everyone heads for the mall.
I am actually thinking about celebrating Black Friday myself. Yes. As shocking as that notion seems, even to me, I may go shopping. Why would an old man at death’s door go shopping? Easy that, I believe I may need a Raw editor software program that shall potentially allow me to edit the Raw picture files produced in my camera and subsequently downloaded to my computer. Plus, I have heard it through the grapevine that Best Buy has Paint Shop Pro XP on sale, really cheap. Yet the offer is for a limited time. Like maybe Black Friday is the last day. Mercy!
Good Goddess! I bet the Best Buy is chock full of crazed Mammonites at this very nonce. I bet the parking lot is jammed. What if I have to park way far away? Like maybe down by the liquor store. What if, in close proximty to the liquor store, I suffer displacement behavior, or cognitive dissonance? Mercy! I could come home, not with a copy of the PSP XP software, but with a case of Old Crow. Mercy!
As everyone with a lick of sense knows, Thanksgiving may be the most reasonable of all the religious holidays celebrated in the Americanoland Homeland. That may be because the Mammonite rulers of Americanoland have never figured out how to totally capitalize Thanksgiving. What’s more, the Mammonite Christian numbskull devotees of the Mammonite rulers have never figured out a way to exclude the pagan elements from Thanksgiving, thanks be to the pagan Injun participation in the original iteration of the holiday. Praise the WG with great praise!
So to make up for Thanksgiving actually being worth a shit as a religious holiday, the Mammonites invented Black Friday. Yes. After a day of semi-reflection and gratitude or mere gluttony, the Mammonites need to go shopping. Yes. The reflective need to get over the scare they may have given themselves and the gluttons need to walk it off. Everyone heads for the mall.
I am actually thinking about celebrating Black Friday myself. Yes. As shocking as that notion seems, even to me, I may go shopping. Why would an old man at death’s door go shopping? Easy that, I believe I may need a Raw editor software program that shall potentially allow me to edit the Raw picture files produced in my camera and subsequently downloaded to my computer. Plus, I have heard it through the grapevine that Best Buy has Paint Shop Pro XP on sale, really cheap. Yet the offer is for a limited time. Like maybe Black Friday is the last day. Mercy!
Good Goddess! I bet the Best Buy is chock full of crazed Mammonites at this very nonce. I bet the parking lot is jammed. What if I have to park way far away? Like maybe down by the liquor store. What if, in close proximty to the liquor store, I suffer displacement behavior, or cognitive dissonance? Mercy! I could come home, not with a copy of the PSP XP software, but with a case of Old Crow. Mercy!
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, November 28, 2008
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