Who’s to Blame

Too often, Druids blame Roman imperialism for all our troubles. I say, we need to stop blaming the Romans and get on with our lives. Yes.

Here’s an example indicating why blaming the Romans may be a waste of time. A while back, evil doers may have rustled Karl’s pet mule, Ajax. You know, Karl the Tracker Druid.

Prissy, Karl’s smart saddle horse reported Ajax missing. I just don’t know, Karl, he was in the pasture last night, standing there under the horse apple tree. But when I went to look for Ajax this morning, he was, sob, gone.

Correct. All the Druids at the Joke Factory went out and verified that Prissy’s account was essentially correct. Ajax was gone. Yes. Ajax should have been in his accustomed spot, dreaming of mule world under the horse apple tree. Yet all that remained of Ajax was a little semi-fresh mule shit

Normally, Karl is all business when anything or anybody goes missing. But this time, it was Karl’s own beloved, personal pet mule that was missing. Karl was beside himself with the loss. Karl could not think straight. Tears clouded Karl’s manly eyes. Then, blinded by tears of rage or sorrow, Karl threw a temper tantrum. Goddess Damn Romans!

Among Druids, blaming the Romans may actually be contagious. So pretty soon, all the Joke Factory Druids were throwing a tantrum. Yes. There they all were, hopping around under the horse apple tree, mad as hatters. Goddess Damn Romans!

Only Prissy kept her wits. So it was Prissy that first espied Ajax. Yes. There Ajax was, happily grazing along over yonder, across the freeway, munching up great wads of sticker burrs from the bar ditch. Yes. Turned out that a consultant forgot to lock back a utility access gate on the property. Ajax, noting the open gate, escaped, and headed for greener pastures across the freeway.

It’s a wonder that mule didn’t get hit by a car, many commented.