The Wicked and the Evil

Some of the undeserving wicked or evil denizens of these parts got a break yesterday from the terrible heat that afflicts these parts. That’s right. The rain fell at last. The CB, for example, enjoyed at least 1.7" of nice rain yesterday. The CB deserved that rain, because we are relatively innocent compared to the wicked and evil that hedge us round. But we have not figured out how to have the rain fall exclusively on the CB. Too bad. In a just world the wicked and evil would get no nice rain. No. The just or relatively innocent would get all the rain while the wicked or evil would get nary a drop.

Here’s an example of how that might work in practice. Like a big cloud arises toward high heaven. That cloud rains itself out directly over the CB. Then, one after another, all the clouds follow suit, so that the CB gets all the rain while the wicked and evil get naught.

Then, because the CB has all the water, the wicked and the evil have to come begging. There they all are, lined up. Yet the wicked and evil are many. The line snakes all around the Burger Center parking lot. Ha!

All righty then. It is I, Crumby the Ovate. I warned all you wicked and evil ones, you sin doers, what was fixing to happen. Time and time again I warned you. But did you listen and mend your evil or wicked ways? Course not. So now, here you all are, lined up, sweltering in the Burger Center parking lot, looking to beg a little cool drinking water.

Yet all I can spare for each of you is one cup. Plus that cup must be a pewter cup. And that pewter cup must have an enamel pentagram on one side. And the points of that pentagram must be identified just so, with a letter for each point. And those letters shall be N-A-T-A-S. And those letters shall spell the name, Natas. Yea verily it shall spell the name of that pretend imp all you wicked and evil ones have long worshipped. And on the other side of that pewter cup shall be an enameled image of the merciful WG with her Ample Bosoms plus plump arms exposed. So all that lack a pewter cup of that description must now depart. Yes. You must go get a pewter cup similar to the one I have just described if you want a nice drink of cool water. Sorry. No exceptions. Like everyone else, I have arbitrary rules that make no sense. So either follow the rules, or go thirsty. Huh-huh!