Ray's Thought for the Day - Can Sodomy Save the Homeland from the Republican Mammonites?
Maybe, maybe not. The Homeland is pretty strange these days. The Media Liberal is full of stories about Homelanders potentially not voting because their Congressperson, or the Congressperson’s clerk, may be a sodomite. Pretty strange, from a Druid perspective, that a Mammonite Homelander can embrace lying and gluttony, but not sodomy. Oh well, sodomy is their worst sin, not ours. So if they want to give up on state power and all the lying and gluttony they enjoy just because of a little sodomy in the ranks, that’s Okie Dokie with us.
On the other hand, we foretell that most of the Republican Mammonites, on election day, will recognize that sodomy isn’t as bad as they originally may have surmised publicly, and vote to protect their very important privileged and state sanctioned sins, lying and gluttony. After all, what kind of a Homelander would turn down a lucrative government contract just because a sodomite may have handled the contract? Consider that! And what about torture. Now it’s OK to torture the usual suspects in secret. Would the Mammonites want to give up on that privilege? We don’t foretell so.
So sadly, in summary, sodomy, is probably not going to save US from the Republican Mammonites. Onan might save US though. As you may recall, Onan is the Old Testament Hero who went blind from committing unnatural acts on himself. But even after going blind, Onan continued with his unnatural acts because he could find it in the dark. How could Onan save us? Well, it’s a long shot, but maybe the Mammonites could be enjoying themselves so much on election day that they forget to vote. Or perhaps, feeling guilty about enjoying themselves and feeling sorry for all the wasted eggs and sperm that never had a chance to unite and go through meiosis and mitosis together as the one god intended, they feel too guilty to go vote. Or, perhaps, election day will be the day when they reach Onan’s limit, and go blind before they go vote. Then, surmising that they are being punished for some unimaginable wickedness, they decide to stay home instead of going to the polls. Or they go to the eye doctor instead of to the polls.
______
Goodness Doctor, I have reached Onan’s Limit and gone blind as a consequence of self lust. Is there anything you can do for me?
Noper, I hate to tell you this. But once you have exceeded Onan’s Limit you are blinded, forevermore. But here now, let me help you, find it in the dark.
No, no, no, doctor. Don’t touch me. If you touch me, I shall hire a frivolous lawyer.
Mercy, a frivolous lawyer! Well, in that case you can find your own way out. And don’t forget to vote.
On the other hand, we foretell that most of the Republican Mammonites, on election day, will recognize that sodomy isn’t as bad as they originally may have surmised publicly, and vote to protect their very important privileged and state sanctioned sins, lying and gluttony. After all, what kind of a Homelander would turn down a lucrative government contract just because a sodomite may have handled the contract? Consider that! And what about torture. Now it’s OK to torture the usual suspects in secret. Would the Mammonites want to give up on that privilege? We don’t foretell so.
So sadly, in summary, sodomy, is probably not going to save US from the Republican Mammonites. Onan might save US though. As you may recall, Onan is the Old Testament Hero who went blind from committing unnatural acts on himself. But even after going blind, Onan continued with his unnatural acts because he could find it in the dark. How could Onan save us? Well, it’s a long shot, but maybe the Mammonites could be enjoying themselves so much on election day that they forget to vote. Or perhaps, feeling guilty about enjoying themselves and feeling sorry for all the wasted eggs and sperm that never had a chance to unite and go through meiosis and mitosis together as the one god intended, they feel too guilty to go vote. Or, perhaps, election day will be the day when they reach Onan’s limit, and go blind before they go vote. Then, surmising that they are being punished for some unimaginable wickedness, they decide to stay home instead of going to the polls. Or they go to the eye doctor instead of to the polls.
______
Goodness Doctor, I have reached Onan’s Limit and gone blind as a consequence of self lust. Is there anything you can do for me?
Noper, I hate to tell you this. But once you have exceeded Onan’s Limit you are blinded, forevermore. But here now, let me help you, find it in the dark.
No, no, no, doctor. Don’t touch me. If you touch me, I shall hire a frivolous lawyer.
Mercy, a frivolous lawyer! Well, in that case you can find your own way out. And don’t forget to vote.
posted by ray pistrum at Sunday, October 22, 2006
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