Ray's Thought for the Day - Hanging for the Trickle Down

As you yourself may know, free enterprise is the unhampered pursuit of riches by the already rich, primarily. Free enterprise is the same difference as democracy, primarily. (Note: In times past, free enterprise and democracy had slightly different meanings and were not exactly the same difference, but these days, they are the same difference, primarily).

So now that you have established in your own mind that free enterprise and democracy are the same difference, let's examine how free enterprise and democracy operate in one of the colonies, Miserable Iraq. About the first thing that follows from establishing free enterprise and democracy in a new colony is the flat tax. A flat tax is the only fair way for the new puppet government to get some operating revenue. So lots of recent Homeland business college graduates are in the Green Zone working hard to get the flat tax system up and running. But since it's too dangerous to collect taxes in Miserable Iraq, the heroic theoretical effort of the recently matriculated flat tax experts is, so far, limited to office discussions around the swimming pool.

But wait, since the flat tax is not providing revenue for the operating expenses of the puppet government, what source of revenue is providing for those operating expenses? Well, just maybe, some of those are operating expenses are coming from US, reckon.

All righty then. Now I, Ray Pistrum, dual Druid and Sungod Trainee shall do a transmigration and become a recent Homeland business college graduate happily working away in the Green Zone.

All righty then. Here am I comfortably ensconced in the Green Zone with all the comforts of home and I would be happy as a pig in a poke except for the annoying Miserable Iraq puppet government refusing to stand up. So I need to give someone that can speak English a contract. Dang it. Where's my secretary? There she is faunching around out by the swimming pool. Miss, yoohoo, miss, can you put some clothes on and then get over here and type up a message to the miserable Iraqis for me, please. Come on, I haven't got all day. I got to go play golf. Here! You need to retype all this and put it on some US letterhead and then make a million copies so we can drop them out of helicopters. Type this on up and get to work on those copies!

Yessir!
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US Contracting Opportunity
Green Zone
Miserable Iraq

Wanted! The US needs a miserable Iraqi or group of miserable Iraqis that can read this. If you can read this and get into and out of the Green Zone without quitting on US, you have a chance to handle a big contract for US. What you need to do is show up here in the Green Zone and prove you can speak some English. A business background is preferred, but we can work around that requirement if we all can communicate together in English.

Here's what you'll need to be able to do with your English skills. You will need to talk with me in English and be able to write your name and be able to read some selected parts of the contract out loud and then discuss those selected parts briefly with me. This is so we will all know what's in those parts of the contract. The miserable Iraqi with those English skills is liable to get the contract which is for a billion dollars US, give or take a few hundred million dollars including miscellaneous expenses.

Generally speaking, what the contract is for is procurement of items required by the miserable Iraqi police. Whatever, the police need, like badges for example, this contract will cover the procurement of those items, badges for example, and any other items the miserable Iraqi police may require in order to stand up.

So all you English speaking miserable Iraqis that can read this, need to apply for this opportunity to manage this important contract for US so that your miserable Iraqi police will have badges. I am headquartered in the big palace next door to Saddamorama Land. You'll need to come here so I can verify that you speak understandable English. Then we can talk aout the billion or so dollar contract. Once you get past all the security checkpoints and get your clothes back on, climb through the tank trap in front of the palace. Watch out for land mines! Once inside you'll see a bunch of US soldiers. Just ask any of those soldiers for the "Bachelor of Business" and you'll get yourself directed my way. Handling this contract for US could make you rich, beyond your wildest dreams. Good luck! We are an equal opportunity employer.
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Yes, that was a fine chip shot your majesty, Prince Doowah. One of my better efforts. But let me tell you about this fish I once caught. It was a 400 pound catfish that I caught on a fly rod out in in the middle of the mighty Mississippi. What a tussle that catfish gave me as I reeled it in. And when I cut the monster open, it was full of babies. Mercy, some of those babies I recognized from pictures I had seen on milk cartoons. You are lucky Prince Doowah that you have no such mighty rivers as the Mississippi capable of harboring such monstrous catfish.

Ra-ay! Ray! Snap out of it. It's raining hard and Crumby needs you to help him with the seed as soon as the rain lets up.

Excuse me Hope, but I am informing his majesty, Prince Doowah on the perils freshwater aquatic life may present to the babies of North America. What's more imporant, that, or seed?

Ray. Get your butt out to the shed this instant, or I shall tattle on you to Rayetta.

All righty then. But imagine how surprised Prince Doowah will be when his golfing buddy suddenly vanishes. He'll probably think the event, my vanishing suddenly, unprecedented, or miraculous even.

That's OK Ray. I'll fix it up with Prince Doowah. Look the rain's stopped. Crumby will be getting nervous already. And I'm fixing to holler, Ray-et-ta. Ray won't go help Crumby, ex-pe-di-tious-ly. Like he's supposed to!

OK, OK. Jeez Louise. I'm headed on out to the shed, all righty then.