Crumby's Thought for the Day
Alas, my bosom companion is worn out from werkin' in the sun. So here am I, Crumby, ovate par excellence. I have some new information on the Olympus 70-300mm, coveted by Rayetta. But Rayetta cares not. Because the information I have, is opinionated.
Last we heard, the entire shipment of these lenses was captured by Malaysian or Somalian pirates. Actually the ethnicity/nationality of the pirates may not be Malaysian or Somalian. But forget that, they have Rayetta's telephoto/macro, if they have not already sold it to the Red Chinese communists.
Because pirates or communists have Rayetta's lens, that particular lens is not here, among US, for sale. See! Even in the most high pants, crack stuck, terminal consumer society of all time, pirates and commies can get our stuff away from US before we even get any. Boo-hoo-hoo.
What are those commies fixing to do with Rayetta's lens? Easy that, they are putting on a coat of radioactive lead paint. The lead paint shall jack up the resale. Once they get it coated up with radioactive lead paint, they shall ship it off to US.
I have to warn Rayetta, if her lens ever arrives, Don't stick it in yer mouth, darling! Yepper, Rayetta's lens, besides the radioactive lead paint, could have millions of pirate germs on it. That's right. Pirates are nasty. Plus, they take personal pride in being nasty. That, taking personal pride in nasty germiness, is unusual, and sets pirates apart. But the fact is, germiness, is an imporant aspect of the pirate persona.
Har! I would never make a pirate. That's because I need to soak my worse knee in epsom salts daily. And since there's no point in getting my worse knee wet all by itself, I am liable to get on in the epsom salt bath, entirely. That habit keeps my pirate potential low, due to the germ killing nature of epsom salts.
Yet formerly, during my wicked Christian youth, I would have made a pirate fer sure. All that held me back in those days from the pirate lifestyle was an intense dislike of boat rides. Boat rides are plenty boring. But then, maybe with other pirates for company, boat rides might be more interesting.
Er. What goes on, below deck, after lights out, among pirates? I bet every carnal activty imaginable, goes on. I bet those pirates do whatever high jinks enters their noggins. Whatever.
That's why I surmise that those pirates sodomized some of those lenses either by sucking on them or inserting them where the sun don't shine. Yikes! I need to spell Rayetta on that probability too. Rayetta, that lens could have been anywhere. Pirates!
So anyway, that's what I learned today regarding the current dispostion of Rayetta's wayward telephoto/macro.
Er. For this rest of this rare literary opportunity I was fixing to satirize Senator Schumer plus Senator Feinstein. Yet the Ark Druid took a look see at the draft and censored me. Dern it!
But this, what is being spelled at this nonce, passed censorship, obviously.
The Kinglet has the power to listen in. The Kinglet has the power to detain with no legal recourse for the detainee. The Kinglet has no oversight on his many secret activities. The Kinglet tortures. But who could know that, because its secret and there is no oversight.
So, from an anarchist perspective, the Kinglet is very dangerous. He can do whatever with no supervision of all his secret activities. Maybe that's why the Chuckster is fixing to vote for the Mukster. Uh, oh. I just got censored again.
OK. Starting over. Since the framers of the US Constitution had no familiarity with threats similar to the grave threats we face today*, it makes sense that a majority of the millionaires' club that some call the US senate, would help the Kinglet fix all the loopholes in the constitution that would otherwise allow Muslims to run amuck in the colonies. And since those loopholes apply to amuck Muslims, it might be handy for future Kinglets to apply those same fixes universally, forever. Who knows what grave threats to the Homeland may arise in the future?
Plus, how handy is oversightless wiretapping for a Kinglet. Why a big eared Kinglet could eventually get the goods on, well, even a millionaire senator.
*Yes, with the War for Independence hardly over, the framers, with their silly notions of liberty, could never have anticipated a bunch of foreigners trying to attack US and the general panic that might cause. Isn't it surprising, that having contended with the British army, a general population estimated at one third Royalist, German mercenaries plus Native American mercenaries, they still could not figure out that US needed a Department of Homeland Security. How dopey is that?
Last we heard, the entire shipment of these lenses was captured by Malaysian or Somalian pirates. Actually the ethnicity/nationality of the pirates may not be Malaysian or Somalian. But forget that, they have Rayetta's telephoto/macro, if they have not already sold it to the Red Chinese communists.
Because pirates or communists have Rayetta's lens, that particular lens is not here, among US, for sale. See! Even in the most high pants, crack stuck, terminal consumer society of all time, pirates and commies can get our stuff away from US before we even get any. Boo-hoo-hoo.
What are those commies fixing to do with Rayetta's lens? Easy that, they are putting on a coat of radioactive lead paint. The lead paint shall jack up the resale. Once they get it coated up with radioactive lead paint, they shall ship it off to US.
I have to warn Rayetta, if her lens ever arrives, Don't stick it in yer mouth, darling! Yepper, Rayetta's lens, besides the radioactive lead paint, could have millions of pirate germs on it. That's right. Pirates are nasty. Plus, they take personal pride in being nasty. That, taking personal pride in nasty germiness, is unusual, and sets pirates apart. But the fact is, germiness, is an imporant aspect of the pirate persona.
Har! I would never make a pirate. That's because I need to soak my worse knee in epsom salts daily. And since there's no point in getting my worse knee wet all by itself, I am liable to get on in the epsom salt bath, entirely. That habit keeps my pirate potential low, due to the germ killing nature of epsom salts.
Yet formerly, during my wicked Christian youth, I would have made a pirate fer sure. All that held me back in those days from the pirate lifestyle was an intense dislike of boat rides. Boat rides are plenty boring. But then, maybe with other pirates for company, boat rides might be more interesting.
Er. What goes on, below deck, after lights out, among pirates? I bet every carnal activty imaginable, goes on. I bet those pirates do whatever high jinks enters their noggins. Whatever.
That's why I surmise that those pirates sodomized some of those lenses either by sucking on them or inserting them where the sun don't shine. Yikes! I need to spell Rayetta on that probability too. Rayetta, that lens could have been anywhere. Pirates!
So anyway, that's what I learned today regarding the current dispostion of Rayetta's wayward telephoto/macro.
Er. For this rest of this rare literary opportunity I was fixing to satirize Senator Schumer plus Senator Feinstein. Yet the Ark Druid took a look see at the draft and censored me. Dern it!
But this, what is being spelled at this nonce, passed censorship, obviously.
The Kinglet has the power to listen in. The Kinglet has the power to detain with no legal recourse for the detainee. The Kinglet has no oversight on his many secret activities. The Kinglet tortures. But who could know that, because its secret and there is no oversight.
So, from an anarchist perspective, the Kinglet is very dangerous. He can do whatever with no supervision of all his secret activities. Maybe that's why the Chuckster is fixing to vote for the Mukster. Uh, oh. I just got censored again.
OK. Starting over. Since the framers of the US Constitution had no familiarity with threats similar to the grave threats we face today*, it makes sense that a majority of the millionaires' club that some call the US senate, would help the Kinglet fix all the loopholes in the constitution that would otherwise allow Muslims to run amuck in the colonies. And since those loopholes apply to amuck Muslims, it might be handy for future Kinglets to apply those same fixes universally, forever. Who knows what grave threats to the Homeland may arise in the future?
Plus, how handy is oversightless wiretapping for a Kinglet. Why a big eared Kinglet could eventually get the goods on, well, even a millionaire senator.
*Yes, with the War for Independence hardly over, the framers, with their silly notions of liberty, could never have anticipated a bunch of foreigners trying to attack US and the general panic that might cause. Isn't it surprising, that having contended with the British army, a general population estimated at one third Royalist, German mercenaries plus Native American mercenaries, they still could not figure out that US needed a Department of Homeland Security. How dopey is that?
posted by ray pistrum at Friday, November 02, 2007
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